


Trust doesn't come easy

by DODO24



Series: The one where they all grow up and have kids [2]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Adoption, F/F, Fluff, Foster Care
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:01:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24641335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DODO24/pseuds/DODO24
Summary: Megan/Sue is the main couple in this but T&C and A&A (and their kids) will be very present, basically it's all of them having kids and dealing with it. Megan and Sue have decided to go into fostering. Their first foster child is Nathan who has had his (un)fair share of trauma which i will write about. It won't be a chapter to chapter thing, every chapter will have a theme or a main subject so chapters technically could be read separate. Will explore some dark themes but i don't plan on making this extremely angsty, basically Nathan will get his forever home but it takes a while before he trusts this to be true.New chapter summaryNathan comes home from school after an eventful day. A little girl having a crush on him results in a big talk and some scary moments.
Relationships: Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger, Megan Rapinoe/Sue Bird, Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Series: The one where they all grow up and have kids [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781665
Comments: 270
Kudos: 550





	1. Meeting the Gayng

**Author's Note:**

> Well you asked so i deliver. For everyone who doesn't read my Gayng snapshots fic this is a spin off from that one. You don't have to read that one to be able to read this, it's just set in the same timeline/universe. 
> 
> The first chapter of this fic was posted as a chapter in Gayng snapshots as well, my question then was if people wanted it to be it's own separate fic and you were pretty unanimous in saying yes.

“Nathan, you getting ready?”

It was still a bit surreal to Sue to be calling for a 9-year-old boy to get ready so they could go and introduce him to their friends. She shook her head while finishing up the fruit salad she had promised to bring.

“When did we become middle age, boring white people?”

Sue didn’t look up from her work when she heard Megan come in to complain.

“At least we’re still gay.”

“True.”

Once she had cut up the last strawberry she finally turned around to look at her wife.

“Did you help him with his tie?”

Megan smiled at her while she tried to steal a blueberry from the salad bowl.

“Yes, he looks adorable. I told him he didn’t have to wear the suit, but he wants to make a good impression, I think he is a bit nervous.”

Sue slapped Megan’s hands away from the bowl much to Megan’s dismay. She didn’t have time to complain about it however because they could see a little face peek around the corner.

Nathan had been with them for a little over two months, they noticed he was becoming more comfortable, but he was still nervous to walk into any room they were in.

“Hey buddy, you look very smart. Want to help me out?”

The little boy immediately rushed to Sue’s side like he always did, they realized soon after he came to live with them that he felt more comfortable with them when he had something to do.

Nathan was a quiet kid, no doubt a result of his past foster homes where he wasn’t allowed to speak.

“Can you watch this fruit salad and make sure Megan doesn’t eat it while I change?”

Nathan smiled at her and nodded, already turning his back to the bowl to keep his eyes on Megan.

“You can have as much as you want bud,” Sue whispered the words in Nathan’s ear. Enjoying the mock outrage on Megan’s face and the cute smile on Nathan’s.

Sue had only just left the room when Megan rushed forward to the fruit bowl, but Nathan blocked her as best he could. Megan smiled at the solid weight pressing against her stomach. Nathan was small for his age, malnutrition will do that to a kid, but he was feisty. With all of his 50 pounds he was trying to push her away from the bowl, laughing while he did so.

“Okay, okay, you win, can we strike a deal?”

Nathan smiled at her and nodded.

“How about you let me eat some and I will give you whatever you want?”

To any other kid this would be a dangerous proposition, but Megan knew Nathan wouldn’t ask for a puppy or something grant. It was sad in a way how Nathan’s wishes always seemed to be small, he never seemed to expect much. A wish for him was getting a second helping at dinner or getting to stay up late to watch a movie.

“Can you tell me everyone again?”

Megan gave him a soft smile, of course that’s what he wanted. They had been preparing all week for Nathan to visit their friends. He had wanted to know everything to make sure he wouldn’t mess up by mixing up names. They had given him pictures of everyone with their names so he could practice, they would often find him in his room flipping through the pictures making sure he knew every detail.

“First we have Ashlyn, my best friend, she has short blonde hair and always gets into trouble. She is married to Ali, who has really long black hair. She is really sweet and will probably ask you if you’re okay a lot. They have two kids called?” Megan knew Nathan knew this, so she felt comfortable asking him to answer.

“James and Olivia.”

“Yes! Good job kiddo.”

Megan popped a blueberry in her mouth and offered Nathan one as well.

“Then we have Tobin, who has brown hair. She is really goofy and will probably want to play with you all night. She is married to Christen, who has dark curly hair. She gives the best hugs and what did we agree upon about that?”

Nathan was staring down at her feet when Megan mentioned the topic he had been so worried about.

“I can say no.”

Megan handed him a strawberry which got him to look up and smile.

“Exactly kiddo. No one will be disappointed, sad or anything else if you don’t want to do something. If you don’t feel comfortable saying it you can come to Sue or me and we can help okay?”

Nathan nodded his little head again before reaching up into the bowl and taking two grapes, handing one to Megan.

“Lastly we have the big dude right?”

Nathan giggled while chewing his grape, “Noah.”

Noah was the only one Nathan had met already, more so by accident than that it was planned. Christen and Tobin had an emergency at work a couple weeks back and Megan had agreed to watch Noah. They had told it would be fine if he didn’t want to meet Noah, the house was big enough to stay away from the toddler, but he had wanted too. They spent the afternoon playing with some toy cars Noah had brought and playing soccer in the backyard.

Despite the 6-year age difference both of them had enjoyed themselves and Noah had been enamored by Nathan and how he could make the cars go so fast.

When Christen had come back to pick up Noah, Nathan had rushed upstairs. Hiding in one of the many hiding places he had found in the house. Another thing he had learned to do while in the system, find a place where you can’t be found. The first time he had hidden himself in that place it had taken Sue and Megan over an hour to find him.

When they realized why he had taken to hiding they made it into a little den for him. They added some pillows, blankets and always had a bottle of water and a snack or two on hand for him. He loved it in there, he would take some toys and spend hours playing in there. Sue or Megan would check up on him every once in a while but they never forced him to come out or tell him to let them in. They let him be, just making sure that he was okay and know he was welcome to join them in the living room whenever he wanted.

“Do you think they will like me?”

Nathan was looking down at his feet again while waiting for the answer to his question. He didn’t notice Megan getting down on one knee until he could see her face level with his. It was something they always did when they wanted to make sure he was listening.

“They will love you because they already do.”

“How can they love me already? They don’t know me.”

“Because they love Sue and me and we love you. Love transfers kiddo, you make our lives better every day you’re with us, our friends love you for that.”

Megan was mildly shocked when Nathan hugged her tight. The only other time he had initiated a hug with her was when he had just come to live with them.

Sue was watching it happen from the hall, not wanting to disturb the moment. She waited until Nathan pulled back and returned to staring at his feet, clearly uncomfortable with his own need for intimacy.

“What’s going on here? We need to go, get your shoes on bud.”

Nathan took the escape like a madman and raced out of the room to go find his shoes.

“He gave me a hug.”

Megan was teary eyed, still kneeling as if she didn’t know how to get up. Sue grabbed onto her arms to lift her up and pulled her into a hug of her own.

“I know babe, he will be okay, he will get better and better with time. We just need to give him all the love he needs.”

Not for the first time they found themselves thinking about their future and how they would love to make this arrangement more permanent. They had always spoken about adopting along with wanting to give temporary homes to kids who needed it. It just so happened that Nathan was the first child who came to them and that he was indeed up for adoption. It forced them to think about it sooner than they had expected but it only took a couple weeks with Nathan for them to know they wanted him to be permanently part of their family.

The drive to Ashlyn and Ali’s house was uneventful. They kept a close eye on Nathan who was staring out of the window, not showing the nerves he was definitely feeling. That’s how they knew him, he had gotten used to hiding his feelings, it was going to be a long road until he would be comfortable with sharing his feelings.

When they pulled into the driveway almost 90 minutes later they looked at each other. Silently communicating about who would take Nathan and who would take the food and bags.

It was Sue who ended up opening Nathan’s door for him and reaching out her hand to him. It was one of the few forms of physical interaction Nathan was okay with, whenever he was nervous he would grab onto their hands.

“Can I fix your tie for you?”

Nathan looked down at the tie that had shifted during the car ride and nodded. Sue reached over to tighten it for him and smoothed down the collar of his shirt while she was at it.

“You’re going to be completely fine buddy but if you need some space or want to go home you can tell us and we will help you okay?”

Nathan blushed a little, he wasn’t used to so much understanding and love being shown to him. It was a weird sensation to feel trust in grown-ups, but he did.

He slowly made his way out of the car, not letting go of Sue’s hand. He could see Megan talking to someone at the front door who was helping with carrying some of their stuff in.

When the woman came into view he immediately recognized her from the pictures he had. Her short blonde hair was up in a bun and he could see her pretty smile, he was sure this woman was Ashlyn. Right when he realized he also felt his nerves increase tenfold.

He kept walking but with every step he moved closer to Sue’s side until he was half behind her. He liked that Sue didn’t let go off his hand or force him to greet Ashlyn when they came to stand in front of her.

When his eyes met Ashlyn’s, he could see her smile get even bigger.

“Sue, why didn’t you tell me our new favorite little dude had an impeccable sense of style?”

Nathan felt a giggle leave his mouth, he took in her appearance and noticed something that made him happy.

“We have the same tie,” he whispered.

Ashlyn kneeled down in front of him like Sue and Megan always did.

“You want to know what I think Nathan?”

He didn’t know why but he nodded his head.

Ashlyn bend forward a little so their heads were close, and she could share her thoughts.

“I think we should form a secret club because we are the only ones with style here.”

Nathan felt another giggle leave his mouth, “we could have a secret password.”

“Oh my gosh we should, we can coordinate our outfits and use the secret password so no one will know until we show up.”

Nathan was full on giggling now along with Ashlyn.

“We can tell Megan we’re wearing something else and fool her into wearing something silly.”

Megan dropped down to her knees next to them when she heard Nathan say this.

“Ash, we have been here 5 minutes and you have already corrupted my kiddo.”

Ashlyn and Nathan looked at each other and laughed even harder, “we could make her wear a white tie with red spots.”

Nathan truly didn’t know if he had ever been this comfortable with someone he didn’t know but Ashlyn was just so silly he had to laugh.

Right then he spotted a dark-haired woman looking down at him. He noticed she looked kind and had a really big smile, he knew this had to be Ali. He shuffled towards Megan subconsciously and grabbed her hand. He felt a little bit better when he felt Megan squeeze his hand and rub his back.

“Nathan, I would like you to meet my wife Ali, don’t worry she is only strict with me. She is a real softie at heart.”

Nathan looked up shily to meet Ali’s eyes, he could see the twinkle in her eyes that reminded him of Sue’s whenever she was really happy.

“Hello Ali,” he had wanted to sound strong and confident but what left his mouth was a mere whisper.

“Hello Nathan, I hear you’re already in a secret club with Ashlyn, but would you be in mine instead? I know how to make your favorite cookies and I just so happen to have some for you.”

Nathan felt his smile return when he heard Ali speak.

“You can make real sugar cookies?”

He had only told Megan and Sue what his favorite cookies were when they asked a few days ago. They had promised that they could make them together, but they hadn’t had the time yet.

“I sure do sweetie, want to taste?”

Ali held out a cookie for him to take. When he took a bite he smiled brighter than Sue had seen since they took him home.

He turned to look at Ashlyn to break the news.

“I’m jumping ship, cookies are everything.”

He heard Ashlyn groan while Megan, Sue and Ali laughed. Ali led him into the house which he had seen in pictures as well and straight to the kitchen.

He followed Ali, surprised at his own bravery and only stopped when she did. She handed him another cookie while also taking one for herself.

“We can have another without ruining our appetite, it can be our secret.”

He laughed while biting in his cookie, he couldn’t remember if he ever had a freshly baked cookie, probably not. He savored the taste just in case he would never have it again.

His sad thought was disrupted when Ashlyn walked into the kitchen with two children in her arms.

“Nathan, I have two little rascals who would like to meet you.”

Olivia and James were smaller than he was, he knew they were only 6, that made him feel a little better. At the group homes he had always been the smallest and the youngest, he hated that because he always got bullied.

James and Olivia both jumped down from their mom’s arm when they saw him.

It was Olivia who broke the ice, “want to go play? We just got new Legos.”

Nathan’s eyes lit up, he loved Legos, he had some at home and could spend hours building what he hoped would one day be his house.

He looked at Sue and Megan who were standing in the doorway, “Can i?”

They both smiled at him, “of course you can bud, go play we will be here if you need us.”

Olivia didn’t wait for him to answer back, she just grabbed his hand and dragged both him and James to what Nathan assumed was the playroom.

The four friends watched the kids run off with a fond smile on their faces.

‘Wine or coffee?”

It was a familiar question Ali would ask every time they visited, they looked at each other and simultaneously made their preference known.

“Wine!”

They were halfway through a story about Olivia drawing tattoos on her brother while Ashlyn wasn’t paying attention when they heard the front door open.

Tobin came through first holding Noah upside down by his ankle, making them all burst out laughing. The little guy was covered in chocolate and his trademark Heath smile was on display.

“AUNTIES!”

Noah was trying to struggle from Tobin’s grip, clearly not understanding that landing on his head wouldn’t be comfortable.

“Tobin what happened to him?”

They were trying very hard to stop laughing at the spectacle in front of them.

“This little monkey decided to wear his ice cream instead of eat it, right monster?”

Noah’s cheeky smile was enough to make them all melt, which was made worse when he stuck out his bottom lip and reached out for the four women standing in front of him.

“Mama, I want to hug aunties.”

Even Christen, who had just walked in with their bags couldn’t contain her smile at the little guy’s request.

“You will clean up first mister, then you can say hi to your aunties.”

Noah admitted defeat after hearing the tone in his mom’s voice, he let Tobin carry him (still upside down for some reason) to the bathroom.

Christen was received with hugs and had a glass of wine in her hand before she could blink.

“Where is my new little nephew, Noah won’t shut up about him.”

“He Is playing with the rascals, I will go get them to say hi,” Sue walked out of the room to go get the kids.

James and Olivia ran to the kitchen as soon as Sue told them Tobin and Christen had arrived, Nathan got up slowly. Sue looked at his work and saw he had been building his Lego house again. It was something he had told them about, he wasn’t interested in building the Lego models, he liked building his own things. More specifically a house that belonged to his forever family.

Nathan had never known any better, he had only lived with two families who had allowed him to play with Legos, the others never did. They never allowed him to play with the real pieces though, only the broken ones. When they asked him why, he told them the real pieces were for the real children, he was just a foster child. Megan had gone out the next day to buy the biggest box of Legos she could find. Nathan couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw how many pieces were in there and that none seemed to be broken.

From that day on it became a daily thing, Nathan would build something every day and blushingly show off his creations to them. It became their favorite part of the day; it was when Nathan showed them a peek inside his wonderful mind. They were also the moments when they realized they could offer Nathan something he never had before, the freedom to be a child.  
“You ready to go meet Christen and Tobin bud?”

Nathan nodded at her, the nerves he felt when he first arrived had returned but it wasn’t as bad. If they didn’t like him he could always just play with James and Olivia who were really nice to him.

He took Sue’s outstretched hand and let her guide him to the kitchen. Christen was sipping her glass of wine when they entered.

Megan took a step forward to let Nathan hold her hand as well, they encouraged him to look at the dark-haired woman standing only a couple feet away from him.

When he finally did he thought the pictures hadn’t been accurate, “you’re even prettier than your picture.”

He had blurted out his thoughts without even realizing it and once he did he covered his mouth with his hands. He was surrounded by laughter all of a sudden and he felt himself blush bright red. Christen’s laugh was clearer than everyone’s when she leaned down in front of him.

Nathan stared at his feet; he couldn’t believe he had let himself say something like that. When he felt both his hands being grabbed again he was comforted a little bit, thinking that it hadn’t been that bad.

“You’re even cuter than your picture, you know that?”

Christen’s voice made him look up, she had really kind eyes he noticed.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

It was a voice from behind him that responded first.

“Never apologize for calling someone pretty dude, especially when it’s my wife because you’re absolutely right.”

Nathan turned around to look at the figure standing behind him, which he knew must be Tobin.

“Hi, I’m Tobin and you must be Nathan.”

Nathan gave Tobin a small wave and a little smile, “Christen is really pretty.”

Another round of laughter filled the kitchen, Nathan could see that Tobin was laughing too. He knew that smile, he had seen it in miniature.

“NATE! MAMA, IT’S NATE.”

A little mass of dark curls rushed through the kitchen and before Nathan knew it he had a little boy clinging to his waist.

“Hi Noah,” he was glad that the toddler had ran in he was easier to talk to than adults.

“Can we play?”

With that all the tension was gone, Nathan let James and Oliva drag him and Noah back to the playroom. They played with Legos and cars all day; Nathan impressed them all with a trick he learned in one of his first group homes that made the cars go really fast.

Before he knew it dinner was eaten, and he was being tossed into the pool by Ashlyn. Many battles were fought on the shoulders of Ashlyn and later Tobin against James who stuck to Sue as his chosen warrior. Olivia taught him how to do a summersault off the diving board which almost gave Megan a heart attack.

He was still swimming when the others left the pool to retire on the couches. He could see James having snuggled into Ali’s side and Olivia already being asleep in Megan’s lap. Noah had long ago crashed and was enjoying a cuddle with Ashlyn. Suddenly he felt lonely and he felt stupid for doing so.

He had played all day, he had been allowed to eat as much as he wanted and he had made new friends, he had no reason to feel like this. And yet when he got out of the pool and looked over at the couches, he did.

He quietly made his way over to the other side of the pool, closest to the door. He dried off with the towels that had been left there and made his way over to the playroom again. He sat down next to the Lego house he made today; it was one of the best he had built so far. It had two little Lego figures standing by the front door waiting to welcome him in and become his parents.

He cried when he looked at them and noticed for the first time that he had picked two woman figures. He felt stupid for hoping, this was all just temporary and before he knew it he would be on his way to another group home or foster home.

He was too tired and sad to react defensively when he felt himself be pulled into an unfamiliar body. He let himself cry hoping that whoever was holding him wouldn’t tell Sue and Megan.

Once he had calmed down a little bit he recognized the person holding him and he could only agree with what Megan had told him. Christen did give the best hugs, she was warm and soft, pulling him in tight but still allowing him the room to move away if he wanted too. He didn’t want to, he felt comforted and safe.

He let her pick him up burying his face in her neck and his arms around her shoulders. He suddenly felt 2 years old again, but he couldn’t get himself to care.

He noticed when Christen sat down outside and positioned him in her lap. Two new arms found their way around him and even without looking he knew they belonged to Sue and Megan. He blindly reached out to the person on his right who he moments later discovered was Sue. New tears made their way down his cheeks, he felt two familiar hands wipe them away. Megan must have traded places with Christen.

“You’re so loved buddy.”

They kept repeating those words and to his surprise he started to believe in them.

When he finally lifted his head, he saw both Megan and Sue look down at him and he got shy again. He looked around to see where the others were but only saw empty seats on the couch.

“They went to put the little ones in bed,” Megan explained, guessing that this was what Nathan was wondering about.

“I’m sorry.”

Nathan felt Sue life up his chin to make him look at her.

“Never apologize for being sad Nathan. We all need to cry sometimes, and we are always going to be here to dry your tears.” Nathan let his head drop on Sue’s chest again, he could feel Megan stroking her fingers through his hair.

“I think it’s time for bed kiddo,” Nathan gave her a weak nod. The emotions and all the playing had him falling asleep already. He let Sue lift him up, much like Christen had done earlier. When they walked into the house he saw the other four adults standing around the living room.

They all smiled at him and wished him goodnight, it felt good to have grown ups be nice to him.

After his teeth were brushed and he had changed into his pajamas he let Sue and Megan tuck him in.

“We’re right down the hall on the left or down in the living room if you need us okay? If you want to go home tonight we will, no worries about that okay? Just come and tell us and we will make it happen.”

Nathan nodded, “thank you.”

They left him after they both gave him another quick hug, something Nathan was surprised he wanted more than anything.

Megan leaned against the wall next to the bedroom door, trying to hold back her own tears. Sue joined her putting her forehead against Megan’s.  
“He is going to be okay, today was a good day.”

Megan hugged Sue tight, “it was a good day, I just wish we could tell him we want him already.”

Sue let out a deep sigh, Megan was right. They had informed Nathan’s social worker that they wanted to move forward and adopt him sooner rather than later but there were so many hoops to jump through. They were told to not tell him yet in case the adoption didn’t go through.

They joined their friends in the living room after they enjoyed a kiss and another hug.

“Did he go down okay?”

Tobin handed them both a fresh glass of wine, Sue refused hers knowing that she was the one who would drive if they had to go home tonight.

“He is okay, I think he for a moment just didn’t know where his place was, I hope he sleeps tonight but I will check in a bit.”

They spent an hour catching up, the topic of kids was taboo. They needed their kid free time and they all realized that. Sue put her hand on Megan’s thigh to get her attention, she had been uncharacteristically quiet since they came down.

“You okay?”

Megan looked at her, “I just don’t like the thought of him alone if he can’t sleep.”

Sue took a look at the clock right across from where she was sitting, “you can go check on him, it’s been an hour.”

Megan jumped up from the couch with Ali following her example, “I need to check if Olivia isn’t playing circus artist in her room again.”

Before they got to the kid’s bedrooms Megan stopped Ali.

“What’s wrong?”

Megan smiled at her, “nothing, I just thought of something. Do you have a teddy lying around that James and Olivia don’t use?”

Ali pulled her with her, “too many, please take them all.”

Megan looked around the room Ali and Ashlyn had been using for storage. She spotted what she needed immediately, it was a big brown teddy bear that was all soft and perfect to cuddle with.

She made her way to the room Nathan was in and as quietly as possible opened the door. She knew within 5 seconds that Nathan wasn’t asleep, but he was putting on a good show to try and pretend he was, snoring and all.

“You don’t have to pretend to be asleep kiddo.”

“How did you know I wasn’t?”

Megan had to swallow the words her mom always used to say to her, “a mother knows when her child is asleep.” It was the truth, but she knew she couldn’t say that to him, not yet.

“You don’t snore Nathan.”

Megan could see the small smile on Nathan’s face when she turned on the bedside lamp.

“I thought you might want something to sleep with?”

Megan held out the bear to him and laughed when he pulled a disgruntled face.

“I’m 9, I don’t sleep with stuffed animals.”

“Are you sure? I’m sure he would be a little sad if he had to go back to the lonely storage room.”

Megan smiled at Nathan rolling his eyes at her reasoning. “Teddy bears don’t have feelings Megan.”

“OHW, you take that back young man, yes I know teddy, that wasn’t very nice.” Megan was holding the Teddy to her ear as if he was telling her a story, “now teddy is sad.” Nathan giggled at Megan’s exaggerated performance.

“Fine, he can stay here.”

Megan held the teddy up her face again, “isn’t he a sweet boy? Yes, I know, you don’t have to be alone now, you will have someone to cuddle with.” She proceeded to tuck the teddy in next to Nathan who continued to giggle at her performance.

She pressed a kiss to the bear’s forehead before moving to Nathan. He looked at her with a question in his eyes that he didn’t dare to ask and didn’t have too. Megan leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead as well. She stroked his cheek for a moment, “sleep well sweetie.”

Two hours later Sue and Megan would check up on him again before going to bed and they found him cuddled up with his teddy sleeping soundly.

He was their son and they couldn’t wait until they could make that official.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clue how many people are interested in reading mostly Binoe (i despise this ship name) so let me know what you think.
> 
> If you have any themes you would like me to explore or just want to chat you're welcome to message me on Tumblr hardtchill.tumblr.com


	2. The first night in a new home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan's first night with his new foster parents. After a hectic day he arrives in a house he doesn't know with new people and he has to find a way to be okay with that. The first night doesn't go as he had hoped but he makes a step in building trust with the people he calls Megan and Sue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKYOU thesoccer20, Heath-xvii and Heath17_KO5 for the help with this chapter, feedback was needed, feedback was had and now i know i suck at grammar ;)
> 
> Kidding, i already knew that.

Nathan’s eyes grew big when the car he was currently in pulled up into the driveway of the biggest house he had ever seen. It was a two-story house with what looked like a backyard, but not like other backyards he had seen. The grass was green not brown, and he could even see a trampoline back there.

He must have spent too long gaping at the house because he suddenly heard his car door being opened, he hadn’t even realized his new foster parents had gotten out of the car already. He avoided looking at the brown-haired woman opening his door for him, she had kind eyes, but he had misjudged foster parents before. You think they are nice until you find yourself running away from them because you did something wrong.

He let the woman who he knew was named Sue help him out of the car and grab his bag. He remembered the look the two women had given each other when he explained that this was his only bag, they thought he was joking. He guessed they weren’t looking forward to having to get him new clothes, most foster parents didn’t. He usually ended up with hand-me-downs from foster kids who had already left before he arrived there.

He pulled his bag against his chest. Inside it were two pairs of socks, two pairs of underwear, a shirt and a pair of shorts. Those were the only clothes he owned other than what he was wearing. Inside the bag was also his only memory of his real parents, a small photo album with 5 pictures. It was the only thing he was given after his parents died, even when he was 4-years-old he had never let anyone touch it. 

Sue told him to follow her, Nathan guessed what would follow. They would show him his room and tell him the house rules. Most foster homes all had the same, no running, no yelling, no leaving your room after a set time, no stealing food, no asking for food and most importantly, take care of yourself.

Nathan was used to it now; he knew how to take care of himself.

Without even realizing it he had made his way through the house and up the stairs. Both Megan and Sue were walking in front of him now until they reached a door and beckoned him to go inside. He was happy to see that the room had a door and it was an actual room, in his last foster home he had to sleep in the living room which meant that he had no place to hide his photo album.

When he stepped inside, his jaw dropped. The room was really big, it had a bed that looked new, a rug and even a desk. The sheets on the bed looked clean and the bed was made. For a moment he let himself believe that maybe this was a good home.

“You can sleep here until your real room is ready.”

Nathan was brought back to reality immediately. He could have guessed it; this was probably the room they used for guests. He cheered up when he realized he at least got to sleep one night in a real room with a real bed and without having to share with other kids, or worse, grown-ups.

“We can go shopping tomorrow to get all your stuff and all your clothes.”

Nathan was only half listening and he was sure that what he was hearing wasn’t right.

“We’re going shopping?”

They were the first words he had spoken since they had left his social worker’s office.

“Yes of course, kiddo. We want you to feel at home here, so we’re going to get some bedding, toys, clothes, books and anything else we need.”

Nathan didn't really believe what the blond-haired woman, Megan, he remembered, was saying. He wanted to believe them, but he really didn’t know how.

When his new foster parents showed him his real room, his jaw dropped again. This room was even bigger, there wasn’t much in it, but he didn’t care. He could sleep on the rug that was on the floor, that was better than any other room he had ever slept in.

He was given a full tour of the house and he learned that there were 3 bathrooms in the house, and they were all bigger than the one bathroom he had had to share with 6 others in his last home. He also learned that Megan liked to slide down the stair railings and Sue disapproved of that.

Dinner was a bit strange; he wasn’t used to having grown-ups being interested in what he had to say. He wasn’t even used to being allowed to eat at the table. In his previous foster homes he ate wherever he could and as fast as he could. If the other kids saw him they would always steal his food, he learned that the hard way in his first foster home.

They had filled his plate for him with rice and some kind of sauce that he really liked. He had sat quietly when he was finished, they had only given him a small plate which was fine with him. It was more than what he was used to.

When Sue had asked if he wanted some more, he cursed himself for nodding yes, thinking that he had blown his chance already. Foster parents in his experience didn’t like it when you asked for more food, it was one of the rules. That’s when it hit him: they hadn’t given him a list of rules yet.

His eyes grew big when Sue filled his plate again, as a foster kid you quickly learned that food was scarce and that you had to fight for most of it. Him being used to eating quickly meant he finished his second helping before Sue and Megan had finished their first.

When he got up to start doing dishes, Megan stopped him

“Where are you going Nathan?”

He didn’t really know what to answer, his previous foster parents always told him not to speak, but not answering a question was rude.

“To- to go wash the dishes?”

“You don’t have to do that, sweetie. It’s been a long day. I think it’s best if we go find you some pajamas and get you in bed.”

It was only when Megan mentioned his bed that Nathan realized how tired he was. He wasn’t exactly used to regular sleeping hours, but today had been exhausting to say the least.

He had been taken from his past foster home after a surprise check by a social worker for one of the other foster kids. All the kids had been removed and he had been afraid of going back to his old group home. That’s when his social worker told him she had found an emergency placement. He had to wait in his social worker’s office for his new foster parents to pick him up, and once they did it was already past dinner time.

Looking at the clock he noticed that it was 10.15pm, no surprise that he was this tired, he had hardly slept the night before too.

He snapped out of his thoughts when Megan told him to come with her to find some pajamas, something that was not in his backpack.

She opened a closet in one of the spare rooms and pulled out some colorful clothing.

“These are from our nephew James; he uses them when he sleeps over. He is a little smaller than you so let me find you one of the bigger sizes.”

He stayed silent while he saw Megan ravage through the pile of clothes, he had never seen so many clothes together and these were just pajamas.

Once Megan had found a set she thought would fit she held it out to Nathan.

“Do you like these?”

At first Nathan was too surprised by being given a choice to even look at what Megan was showing him, but she was patient. When he finally looked down at the shirt he instantly started smiling. Megan had picked one of the few less colorful sets which he was happy about. The shirt and pants were gray and covered in all kinds of dinosaurs with the names next to them and everything. The only time he could remember wearing pajamas was when he was still at home with his mom and dad. He had had those little footed pajamas; he couldn’t remember what was on them anymore, but he knew he had them.

Megan left him for a bit to change and brush his teeth. He declined the offer for Megan to tuck him in or sit with him for a bit. He had learned that staying away from grown-ups was the best way to keep yourself safe, especially at night.

He fell asleep thinking that he may be able to survive in this house, at least until he was older and not such an easy target in a group home.

He woke up not knowing where he was and with the sheets pushed down to his feet. He could see a woman standing in front of his open bedroom door. It took him a moment to realize that it was Sue. The room was light enough for him to be able to see Sue walking towards him. A familiar fear crept up on him, having grown-ups in your room in the middle of the night was never a good thing.

He sat up intending to scoot back to the headboard, getting as far away from this grown-up as possible. That’s when he noticed the wet sheets beneath him, he tried to control his panic. If he could hide it for now he could assess the damage later and clean it up, it wouldn’t be the first time. In his panic he forgot that the pajamas they had given him were gray and Sue had probably known what had happened before he did. 

"Hey, it's okay. I was just checking on you, Nathan. Do you remember where you are? I'm Sue, remember? You're safe. Are you...okay?"

He tried to pull the sheets up to cover him, but it was too late.

"It's okay. Accidents happen. It's okay."

Nathan wanted to believe her; he really did. He looked into the kind eyes and wanted to believe she was genuinely kind. He let her pull back the sheets while waiting for her to start yelling. He got off the bed when she told him to, but he couldn’t hear any anger in her voice.

He followed her to the bathroom next to his room and watched her turn the shower on.

“You need some help cleaning up or you want to do it yourself?”

Nathan panicked again at the suggestion of having to undress in front of a grown up and was thankful when she made the decision for him.

“I'm going to give you a little privacy, okay? I'll go change the sheets and leave you some clean pajamas in front of the bathroom door. But call if you need help with anything, okay?"

He looked down at his feet blushing, he didn’t know why she was being so nice to him.

“Th-th-thank you”

“It’s no problem Nathan. I will be right next door if you need me, you can just yell. I will knock after I put the pajamas in front of the door, okay?”

Nathan nodded at her and watched her leave. He locked the door after she closed it behind her.

Sue kept her promise, Nathan heard a knock on the door and when he opened it he saw a small bundle of clothes laying at his feet. He smiled again when he saw the Pokémon pajamas, he had seen Pokémon on tv, and he recognized Pikachu on the shirt. 

When he walked back into the bedroom he could see Sue had just finished making the bed because the wet sheets were still on the floor. He looked down at his feet, not really sure of what he had to do now. He looked up when Sue kneeled down in front of him but immediately averted his eyes and blushed.

He almost jumped when he felt Sue take his hand, but at the same time he felt comforted when she did.

“There is nothing to be ashamed about, buddy. We all have accidents at some point. We will never get mad at you for that.”

Nathan didn’t answer but he did try and look at Sue’s kind eyes again, he couldn’t see the anger he was expecting.

“It happens sometimes.”

Nathan was surprised he let go of that little piece of information, he had never told any of his foster parents this. He always told them it had never happened before if they found him, most often he would hide it and clean up when he could.

“Do you know why it happens?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s usually when I’m scared, or I have a nightmare.”

He felt Sue squeeze his hand, it was oddly comforting.

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel safer?”

Nathan shrugged his shoulders again; it was a nervous habit he had picked up at some point.

“Could-could you tuck me in?”

Sue showed him a big smile. “Of course, I can Nathan.”

Sue let him climb in bed before arranging the covers over him. She spent some time smoothing down all the creases before tucking him in nice and tight.

“I know all of this is scary and new, but we really want the best for you Nathan. It’s probably hard to trust us on that, but we’re going to try and prove it to you, buddy.” 

He wanted to believe her; he really did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clue how many people are interested in reading mostly Binoe (i despise this ship name) so let me know what you think in the comments.
> 
> If you have any themes you would like me to explore or just want to chat you're welcome to message me on Tumblr hardtchill.tumblr.com
> 
> Meanwhile if you can please donate to black lives matter, the fight isn't over and they need all the help they can get.  
> https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019


	3. Is it all a dream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan wakes up the morning after his first day with Megan and Sue. He is cautious but optimistic when they give him breakfast and take him shopping. Some mishaps a long the way and a lot of puns are involved but they get there in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never thought writing an original character would be this fun. 
> 
> HUGE THANKYOU TO HEATH17_KO5 FOR BEING AN AWESOME BETA ❤

Nathan woke up feeling safer and more rested than he had in a long time. His nerves however returned when he remembered what had happened during the night. For a moment he wondered if he had dreamed it all. When he looked down and saw the Pokémon pajamas he had changed into after his shower, he knew he hadn’t. 

He could see the rays of sunlight through the curtains which meant he slept late. In his other homes he would rise with the sun to make sure he could steal some breakfast before school. He remembered this week was Fall break so no school to his relief. That was one thing less to worry about for the next couple of days.

When he got out of bed he let his toes curl into the soft carpet, it was a funny feeling. He looked around for his bag but remembered that Sue had told him they would wash all of his clothes overnight seeing as none of them were clean.

He opened his door slowly and peered into the hall to see no one, but he could smell what he thought was bacon coming from the kitchen. He followed his nose wondering if maybe he would get breakfast this morning, despite sleeping late.

When he peeked his head around the corner to look into the kitchen he could see Megan sitting at the table cutting up some fruit. Sue was standing in front of the stove making the bacon that had lured him there.

He decided to be brave and walk into the kitchen. He reminded himself that he could always run to the hiding spot he had already found the day before.

“Would you look at that babe, we have a wild Pikachu in our kitchen.”

Nathan looked down at his pajamas again and giggled at Megan’s silly comment.

“Don’t mind my goofy wife, Nathan. Would you like some breakfast?”

“Th-that’s for me?” He pointed at the third plate set on the table

“Of course, Pika, can’t take you shopping on an empty stomach. We have quite a day planned.”

Yesterday Nathan had thought it was some cruel joke, this morning he thought it was a dream. Now Megan had said it again.

“We’re going shopping?”

Sue plated up the bacon and walked over to the table where Megan quickly snatched a piece.

“Of course, buddy. We need to get you some clothes, shoes, toys and books of course.”

He finally made his way over to the empty seat guessing that it was safe. Megan piled on some bacon for him and Sue put a waffle on his plate, telling him to add any toppings he liked.

His eyes widened when he was done putting fruit and something called Nutella (that Megan told him he had to try) on his waffle. On good days his breakfast consisted of cereal, most days he went without. He had seen waffles, but he had never tasted one.

It tasted like magic.

When he was finished he was sure he had never felt this full.

Sue and Megan both laughed at the grunt he let out when they offered him another waffle.

“Let’s get you dressed, Pika.”

Nathan slowly got off of his chair and followed Megan to the laundry room where she took his clothes out of the dryer. He got a little nervous when Megan followed him up the stairs to his room. He calmed down when she told him she was just going to open the windows and show him where he could leave his clothes for now.

He picked up the clothes that looked the least ratty and went to the bathroom to change. When he came out a minute later, Megan was sitting on the edge of his bed. He didn’t move until Megan patted the spot next to her, inviting him to sit.

A feeling of dread came over him when he saw the serious look on Megan’s face.

“A-are you going to send me away because of last night?”

Nathan didn’t know if Sue told Megan what had happened. He guessed that the different pajamas and the different bed sheets told the story for him.

“We will never send you away Nathan, accidents happen, to everyone. I actually wanted to ask if I could have done something last night to help you?”

Nathan looked down at his lap, a grown-up had never asked him something like that.

“I was scared.”

He heard Megan make a sound of acknowledgement, but she didn’t speak.

“It has happened before.”

“What would you normally do if it happened?”

He didn’t want to cry, but thinking back at the memories from his past foster homes wasn’t pleasant.

“I would hide it and try to wash the sheets in the bathroom or if I was lucky I could sneak them into the laundry. Sometimes I would get caught and foster parents would hit me or yell at me. When I didn’t have a bed, it was easier because I just had to clean the floor.”

He scooted back on the bed trying to hide away, but Megan moved with him. He ended up sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed with Megan across from him.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Nathan nodded while desperately trying to wipe the tears away.

“Can you look at me for a moment, Nathan?”

It took him awhile but when he felt like he had his tears under control he looked up at the woman in front of him.

“You never have to hide from us, Nathan. I know that it is a lot to ask from you to trust us, but we really do want the best for you. If something happens you can come to us, no matter what time it is or what we’re doing. You’re our priority now and if you need something we will help you. We don’t hit or yell in this house, if there is a problem we talk about it and try to solve it. We just don’t want you to feel like you have to keep secrets around here. You aren’t here because we want you as our meal ticket. We want you here because we want to help you be that beautiful little boy we know you are.”

He didn’t know what came over him when he leaned forward and let Megan envelop him in a hug. All he knew was that it felt nice to have a grown-up care for him.

Sue peeked into the room to see what was taking them so long and the sight warmed her heart. She didn’t want to ruin the moment, so she chose to walk out again and knock on the door.

Nathan pulled back from the hug when he heard the knock, he couldn’t believe he had just done that. He looked up at Megan again and was glad to see no anger, just another set of kind eyes. 

“Are you slowpokes ready?”

Megan laughed at Sue’s question and turned to Nathan.

“She thinks she can out Pokémon pun us, watch this.”

Nathan giggled at the silliness that was going on.

“We will be Raichu there.”

Sue opened the door with a big smile on her face. “That was so bad babe. Come on, Nathan, I’m Butterfreeing you from her terrible puns.”

Megan turned to Nathan again, completely ignoring her wife.

“Please don’t Bayleef me Pika.”

Nathan was sure he had never laughed this hard.

“I won’t Pikachuse between you.”

After four more terrible puns Sue put an end to it with. “Go get your shoes, Squirt-le.” 

He giggled while he was tying his shoes, he was still giggling when he was loaded in the car and Megan started the car.

The drive to the mall gave Nathan a chance to check out where he had landed. Most of the houses they passed looked new and everyone he saw was wearing nice clothes. When they passed a park, Sue told him they could go there tomorrow to check it out, he was looking forward to it already.

He had to take a few slow breaths when he saw the mall they had taken him too, it was huge. He had been in stores before, he had even been in a mall before, but not one this big.

When Sue opened his car door she seemed to pick up on his nerves.

“Hey buddy, it’s okay. It’s really big isn’t it?”

He could only nod at Sue’s question.

“You don’t need to worry; we can do this at your pace. If you want to go outside for a bit or you want to go home you can tell us okay?”

“R-really?”

Sue took both of his hands in hers. “Yes, really buddy. Just tell us and we will go home.”

Nathan took another deep breath before he made his way out of the car, he was determined to at least try.

He took the outstretched hands both Megan and Sue offered and walked with them through the entrance and into the biggest mall he had ever seen. He didn’t know where they were going but Sue clearly did. She walked straight to a big store with more clothes than he had ever seen.

When they walked in he could see there weren’t many people in the store and the ones that were didn’t seem to notice him.

“Do you know what size you are Nathan?” Sue asked after they got to the children’s section.

He was thinking back to all the times he was given clothes, but he couldn’t remember ever being asked for his size. Someone just gave him some clothes and they usually fit well enough.

“Can I check the tag in your shirt? That should have the size.”

He surprised himself by nodding and turning around. He could feel Sue pull the back of his shirt down to look at the label, but he didn’t feel scared.

“It says this is a size 7, you need to go a size up because this shirt is a bit short on you.”

Nathan could only agree with Sue on that. The shirt wasn’t uncomfortable, but he had to admit that a bigger size would probably fit better.

“Look what I found!”

Nathan hadn’t even noticed that Megan had wandered off and Sue seemingly hadn’t minded. When he saw the shirt Megan was holding out for him, he laughed. It was a Pokémon shirt. He traced his fingers over the material in front of him, it had Ash on it surrounded by all kinds of Pokémon.

“You like that one Nathan?”

Megan was already off trying to find more shirts while Sue questioned him on the shirt he was now holding in his hands.

“It’s really nice.”

He could see Sue smile at him.

“Why don’t you go try it on in there and we can see how it fits?”

He looked over to where Sue was pointing and saw the little fitting room he had seen in stores before.

“W-will you stand in front?”

Sue gave him another smile. “Of course, come on buddy.”

By the time he had tried the Pokémon shirt on, and they had decided that it was a definite yes, Megan was back with more clothes.

“Look at this, Pika.”

Nathan laughed as hard as Sue did when he saw the shirt with a radish on it that said, “I’m RADish.”

He spent at least an hour trying on clothes because Megan kept bringing more.

After the shirts came the pants, then the shorts and lastly some sweaters for colder weather. When he was finally done trying on clothes Sue informed him that they had one more stop before they could get something to eat.

When they walked into the shoe store, he looked around in wonder. The store wasn’t as big as the one they had just left but he couldn’t believe how many shoes were stacked along the wall. He let Sue measure his feet before they went off to find new ones.

This time he was the one who beat Megan to finding the perfect pair. They were black with little stripes of blue and green that looked really cool. 

They had lunch at a little shop that sold sandwiches. Sue and Megan both laughed at the disgusted face he pulled after he tried an olive they offered him. After throwing his trash away he realized that he hadn’t been scared at all like he had expected. It was like he didn’t even notice all the people that were walking past him. All he could think about was how safe he felt when Megan and Sue would hold his hand while they walked from store to store.

The next stop was a bookstore that was filled to the brim with colorful books. He had never had the opportunity to read many books. Even the books he had to read for school he never finished because he moved on to another home before he could. Megan picked out some books she thought he might like while Sue looked around for some school supplies he would need soon.

They ended up taking the entire Ranger’s Apprentice series home when he got hooked after reading the first few pages of the first book. They also got some books that Sue and Megan called classics. It included Matilda, a book he had once started in school but never finished.

The last stop was a toy store. As soon as they walked in Nathan could feel himself getting nervous. Clothes and school supplies were something that was expected from foster parents to buy. Not that many of his former foster parents actually did, but he was okay with Sue and Megan doing it. Toys however weren’t something he needed, they were fun, but he didn’t need them.

Megan seemed to notice something was off when they walked into the store and pulled him aside.

“Is everything okay Nathan?”

He looked down at his shoes.

“You don’t have to buy me toys, I don’t need them.”

He could see Megan kneeling down in front of him and take his hand again.

“We’re not buying toys because you need them to survive, we’re buying toys because you deserve them kiddo. You deserve to have fun and be a kid. It’s also a bit for me because I love hearing you giggle, and I definitely will be playing with you.”

Megan looked around to see where Sue was standing behind them and leant forward a little bit more so she could whisper. “We can even get water pistols and shoot water at Sue, but that’s our little secret right?”

This got a giggle from Nathan, who enthusiastically nodded his head.

“You know, babe, the next time you want to plan a secret water attack, you might want to not whisper so loud.”

Megan turned around quickly to look at Sue and pretend she was innocent. She was wildly gesturing while she spoke about Sue having misheard, which in turn made Nathan laugh even more.

After Megan had profusely apologized they walked into the store. This time Nathan could get himself to look around and see all the toys he would love to play with. As per usual Megan was off as soon as they entered the store and got back minutes later with a soft Pikachu toy.

“This is a must have, it’s your namesake, Pika.”

Megan seemed to have given herself the task of finding the funniest toys she could find and showing them to him. Most were turned down by him or Sue (“we’re not buying him a Switch because you desperately want one.”) Some however proved to be hidden gems that Nathan would have never thought of himself.

One of his favorites that Megan had found him were the Magnatiles, they were little magnetic shapes you could build with. Another one was a marble run kit he couldn’t wait to build, but his absolute favorites were the toy cars. He had always had toy cars in his other foster home’s, but most were missing wheels or didn’t really work anymore. Now he got his very own that not only worked but some were also remote controlled.

One of the last things they picked up were his very own soccer ball and basketball. He hadn’t played much of any sport, but Megan and Sue told him these two would be easy to learn and they could help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved the response the last chapter, never thought there would be this many Megan/Sue readers. Please let me know what you think, i love all the comments ❤
> 
> If you have any themes you would like me to explore or just want to chat you're welcome to message me on Tumblr hardtchill.tumblr.com
> 
> Meanwhile if you can please donate to black lives matter, the fight isn't over and they need all the help they can get.  
> https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019


	4. on the twelfth day of....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan has to have a mandatory doctor visit that doesn't go very well. He is reminded of past trauma, Sue and Megan try to comfort him as best they can. 
> 
> Thankyou Christenstobin for helping me with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a very clear trigger warning in the text and for good reason. It's short but it's basically the telling of a nightmare. It's not graphic but it tells you what Nathan has been through with regards to sexual abuse in past foster homes. Like i said, it's not graphic in anyway but it can be triggering.

He hated doctor’s offices, they were all a little bit too clean and they smelled weird. He always got told “it was for his own good” when he had to have a check up again. It was one of the standard rules of foster care, the child needs to be seen by a physician within 14 days of arriving with its new foster family.

Sue and Megan were one of the few foster parents who managed to get him an appointment within those first 14 days. It was a rule a lot of foster parents ignored or had to be reminded of. He remembered one foster home who kept canceling the appointment, they told his case manager it was because he didn’t want to go. In truth they didn’t want to take him to a doctor while he was still bearing the bruises from his first night with them.

Make no mistake, he hated doctors and what they did but he hated most of his foster parents more. Time away from them, even if it was spent at a doctor’s office was always a good thing.

With Sue and Megan, it had been different. He had been with them for 12 days and they hadn’t hit him, yelled at him or did other things to him. He found himself liking it to spend his days with them. He would be going to his new school on Monday but this week he had still been at home.

He was shaken from his thoughts when his name was called, and he had to scoot to the edge of the seat so his feet could touch the floor. He took the hand Sue offered him and watched Megan shake the doctor’s hand. The doctor was a big man with a bushy mustache, he didn’t like mustaches.

As a foster kid you learn rather quickly that your body isn’t yours. Grown-ups can touch you if they want and it’s best to stay quiet when they do. Doctors were no different, he was used to having to undress in front of them and let them touch him. He usually managed to keep it together long enough to leave the office and find somewhere in the house to be alone.

This doctor was no different, he didn’t ask if he could do things before he did them. Nathan knew that more often than not saying no wasn’t actually an acceptable answer. He still wanted to be asked though, even if it was just so he knew what would happen.

He let it happen like he always did. He let the man, weigh and measure him, listen to his lungs and take his blood pressure. When he bends him over to check his spine it came as a surprise. The man wasn’t gentle, and he didn’t have time to prepare. This was always the worst one; it always made him relive moments in which he was just as vulnerable, and people took advantage.

After he was done he heard the doctor talk to Megan and Sue about him being small and underweight. Nothing shocking about that. He had heard the same thing at every checkup except for his first, when he had just become an orphan.

He got asked questions, but he didn’t want to answer. He didn’t like talking especially to strange people. He could hear the doctor losing his patience after he had asked a dozen questions without getting an answer.

“Can you speak boy?!”

He didn’t know what to do. If he would open his mouth to talk he was going to cry but if he didn’t the doctor was going to be mad at him.

“His name is Nathan and he decides if he wants to speak.”

Megan’s voice was soft but sounded just as powerful as the doctor’s voice. His foster parents had been quiet for most of the appointment but apparently they decided to change that. He took Sue’s hand when she offered and fidgeted with the ring on her ring finger. It was smooth except for some engraved letters that he loved to trace. He knew what it said because Sue had let him read it, but he still loved to trace the letters to guess what letter he was on.

He blocked out the two voices that were going back and forth, he didn’t really want to know what they were saying anyway.

He only looked up when Sue lightly pulled on his hand.

“It’s over buddy, we can go home.”

A feeling of relieve flooded his body and he was up and out the door before anyone could tell him to come back. He didn’t look at the doctor’s face when he walked out, he hoped he never had to see him again.

He only stopped walking when he reached the car, Sue was hot on his heels. He tried to control himself he really did but he couldn’t block out all the memories that were flooding his mind right now. He was glad when Sue opened the door for him so he could climb in. She didn’t close the door she just kept standing in the door opening as if she was waiting for something.

“Can I sit down next to you Nathan?”

It took him a while to make his head move and nod, he was too busy trying not to get overwhelmed. He moved over to the middle seat so Sue could sit down, he liked that she closed the door so all the sounds from the parking lot were gone.

“You’re allowed to be upset Nathan, it’s okay if you need to cry or if you need something from us. We’re not going to get angry; we’re always going to be here if you need us okay?” 

Sue’s words were enough to make him loose the little amount of composure he had left. He hated crying but he couldn’t stop himself. He felt himself lean into Sue’s open arms and cry even harder when Sue hugged him tight to her chest.

He never imagined that he could feel so comforted by letting someone (who had been a stranger only 12 days ago) hug him. Sue didn’t smell like beer or old cigarettes and she didn’t hold him in a way that made him feel like he couldn’t pull back if he wanted to.

He doesn’t remember what happened after that because the next thing he knows he is waking up on the couch. When he opened his eyes, he could see Sue sitting next to his feet reading a book. When he turned his head, he could see Megan typing away on her laptop while sitting at the rarely used dining room table.

“Wh-what happened?”

Sue put down her book as soon as she heard him speak and turned to face him.

“You fell asleep in the car and we decided to let you nap for a bit, everything is okay.”

The memories of what happened at the doctor’s office came back to him and he blushed.

“I’m sorry for being difficult.”

The sounds of Megan hitting the keys on her laptop suddenly stopped and Megan made her way over to the couch. She kneeled down on the ground next to his head.

“You weren’t being difficult Nathan, that doctor was being an asshole.”

“MEGAN!”

Megan turned around for a moment to look at Sue after she had heard the exasperation in her voice.

“I know, I know, language.”

Nathan smiled a little at the interaction, it’s not like he hadn’t heard that word before.

“Anyway. That doctor had no right to speak to you like that. He was the doctor your case manager recommended but we’re not going back there, and I reported him. No one has the right to treat you like that kiddo. You decide what happens and when you want to talk to someone, only you.”

Nathan didn’t really know what to say, no one ever stood up for him like that.

“I really don’t have to go back?”

Megan was smoothing down the blanket he hadn’t noticed they had covered him with.

“Never. We called a friend who is a pediatrician and she is more than willing to see you whenever you need to go see a doctor.”

He slowly sat up and yawned, making Sue laugh.

“You still tired buddy?”

He shook his head, the nap had been nice, but he wasn’t really tired anymore.

“Can we can go play with Legos?” He directed his attention to Megan who immediately got up and jogged out of the room. “Last one in the playroom has to do the dishes tonight.”

Sue shook her head at watching Nathan jump up and run after Megan.

“Be careful.”

She ignored the crash when it happened 10 seconds later. She never imagined she would end up with two klutzes in her life yet here she was.

Nathan played with Megan for hours building and rebuilding their own designs. Megan taught him how to build a real looking roof for his house which made his house look so much better. Megan ended up making what she called a “tiny house” which he didn’t really understand. Nathan had lived in tiny houses, he liked living in a big house a lot more.

After dinner they both got stuck doing the dishes because according to Sue no one won because Megan tripped. He didn’t mind doing it, Megan kept trying to cover him in soap bubbles which he tried to slap away with his dishcloth. They ended up in a fit of giggles with bubbles flying everywhere.

When Sue tucked him in that night he was happy, the bad doctors visit was forgotten about and he felt safe.

**TRIGGER WARNING**

_Two hands were reaching towards him in the dark. He couldn’t see the face that was undoubtably there. The hands pulled the sheets that covered him, away. He couldn’t move, it was as if his body was locked in place. The hands pulled on his pajamas, he tried to move away from the hands, but he still couldn’t move. It felt as if he was tied down, but he knew he wasn’t. He felt his pajama pants being pulled down_ _and big hands moving to where they shouldn't be_. T _hat’s when he closed his eyes again. He could pretend he was somewhere else; he could pretend it didn’t hurt._

_He tried to cover his eyes with his own hands, but they were pulled away immediately. It caused him to open his eyes and see a face with a big bushy mustache hovering above him._

**END WARNING**

He woke up feeling like he couldn’t breathe, only when the light in the dark room was turned on did he take a deep breath.

“Nathan, are you okay? We heard you yelling, do you remember where you are?”

Nathan’s first instinct was to move away from the people at the door, to move as far away as possible from these people. He didn’t when he recognized their faces, they didn’t have mustaches or big hands, they were Sue and Megan.

“Can we come a bit closer Nathan?” Sue’s voice was soft and warm when she asked, trying to avoid spooking the clearly terrified boy in the bed.

He was surprised when he realized that he did want them to come closer, he wanted them to protect him, he trusted them to protect him.

“Y-yeah”

Megan got to him first, kneeling down next to the bed so she wouldn’t tower over him.   
  
“Did you have a nightmare sweetie?”

He nodded; he didn’t trust himself to speak.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head furiously, so much so that the whole bed moved, he never wanted to talk about it with anyone.

“It’s okay Nathan, it’s okay, you’re safe. You don’t have to talk about it, we just want you to know you can but only you decide right?”

He nodded again, he smiled a little when he thought back to when Megan told him that the doctor was wrong and not him.

“There is that smile we like so much,” Sue had joined Megan by kneeling next to the bed her voice calmed him down instantly. 

“Is there anything you need buddy?”

Nathan didn’t want to look at Sue while he told her what he really needed.

“C-can I take a shower?”

He was surprised when he didn’t hear a pause before Sue spoke again. 

“Of course, you can, you want me to put your pajamas in front of the door?” 

He nodded before pushing his sheets down and moving to the bathroom. He leaned with his back against the bathroom door as soon as he locked it. He needed a moment before he could get himself to undress and shower.

Just like 11 nights ago Sue knocked on the door and left the bundle of clothes on the floor in front of the bathroom door. Nathan looked at the pajamas and smiled, Pikachu was staring right at him.

When he came out he saw Megan struggling to put the duvet into its new cover. He giggled which got Megan to look at him.

“You think you can do it better Pika?”

He laughed again, before walking to Megan and taking one side of the duvet to help Megan put the cover on.

He crawled into bed again when they were done, Megan sat down on the edge of his bed to pull the covers over him.

“You want me to stay for a little bit until you fall asleep?”

He nodded again before letting Megan tuck him in real tight.

Nathan fell asleep with his hand clutching Megan’s hoping the nightmares would stay away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loved the response the last chapter, never thought there would be this many Megan/Sue readers. Please let me know what you think, i love all the comments ❤
> 
> This is the darkest this story will get, i do plan on writing more about Nathan's past experiences but they won't be as dark.
> 
> If you have any themes you would like me to explore or just want to chat you're welcome to message me on Tumblr hardtchill.tumblr.com


	5. A special place to hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan overhears Megan being angry about something and gets scared. He goes into his hiding place prompting Sue and Megan to try and find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it's been awhile. Anyway, new chapter yay, i guess. 
> 
> Huge thanks to @heath17_KO5 for looking this over and being allround awesome

“I am just so angry Sue. I want to beat the shit out of him, I know I shouldn’t but I’m so close to doing it Sue, so close.”

Nathan was on his way into the kitchen when he heard Megan say those dreadful words. He had heard them before, although usually he wasn’t warned, it just happened. His foster parents would blame him for everything, a beating was the preferred form of stress relief for most grown-ups he had known.

The good thing about it was that he could usually arrange to be moved if he told his social worker he was being hit. Not always but it got her to look for different homes for him (or at least that’s what she said). He thought he had given up the hope to find a happy home a long time ago, but Sue and Megan tricked him.

He felt stupid for believing Sue and Megan were different, he shouldn’t have fallen for their initial kindness. All foster parents were the same, they never wanted him and the good ones his social worker kept telling him about, didn’t exist. 

He decided quickly that he had to hide, he had avoided many beatings by hiding. He ran to his room to get his backpack. He filled it with his photo album, his water bottle for school, some snacks he had foraged during the past few weeks and some toys. 

This house was his favorite of all his foster homes, part of his reasoning was the ample space to hide. Megan and Sue had multiple rooms they didn’t use or used for storage. It was one of the storage rooms that he had spotted, on his first day here. It was stacked full of boxes, big carton ones, smaller plastic ones and stackable ones that were stacked taller than he was.

During the first couple of days when he was staying with them he had moved some of the boxes, knowing that if the time came to hide, he wouldn't want to be stuck making lots of noise and moving them. He'd been careful to arrange them so that the room would appear the same from the doorway, but leaving himself a small, empty square in the middle.

As soon as he had put his backpack in his hiding place he grabbed one of the empty boxes that were laying around the room. He smiled to himself when he got into his little nest and placed the empty box on top, no one would even notice there was a space to hide in between the stacks.

He was able to move one of the top boxes to let light in, he could close it if he heard footsteps. He had a flashlight he could use but he would rather save the battery for now. He remembered the one time he had stayed hidden for 17 hours because he had broken a mug on accident. His foster dad yelled for him after he found out, but he had been safe in his hiding spot for hours already. His foster parents thought he ran away so they stopped looking after an hour or two. When he came out, he did so because he could hear company, his foster parents never hit him when they had friends over. They hardly even reacted when he showed his face, the anger towards him had been moved on to another child.

This time was different, he had food, something to drink and a much better hiding spot. He was sure he could stay in here for more than a day if he had to. 

He wasn’t surprised when only 10 minutes after he put his plan into action he started hearing his name being called. It started with Megan calling up the stairs for him to come down, he let out a low chuckle, he knew what would happen if he went downstairs.

After another unanswered call he could hear Megan making her way up the stairs and knock on his bedroom door. He ignored it when Megan opened every door in the house and called his name. She even opened the door to the room he was in but of course she didn’t see him.

Nathan could hear her rush down the stairs and call Sue’s name, no doubt telling her he was gone. He took his Legos out when he heard two people run up the stairs and follow the same path Megan had just taken. He absentmindedly followed their footsteps and stopped building for a minute when the door to the storage room opened. He could hear someone moving some boxes aside, but he wasn’t worried. The boxes he used were heavy, they probably didn’t even think he could move them by himself.

After 30 minutes of Sue and Megan running around the house he could hear them move downstairs again. He smiled to himself, he knew they wouldn’t find him.

During the next 30 minutes it was quiet, he was slightly surprised that they didn’t look harder, but he shrugged it off. He entertained himself until he heard someone coming up the stairs again, this time it was only one person.

Within another minute he froze solid.

The phone Sue and Megan had given him for emergencies was going off. He grabbed his backpack and rummaged through it, trying to find the little appliance that was making so much noise.

He held his breath when he had finally managed to shut it off. He couldn’t believe he forgot. He only ever needed it when he was going to school, and he had forgotten to take it out when he grabbed his backpack.

He thought that maybe it hadn’t rung long enough for them to figure out where he was. It was too late to find another place to hide or to get out of the room.

He heard the room door being opened and two people entering, Nathan curled up so he was as small as possible.

There wasn’t a lot of noise involved when Sue and Megan started looking through all the boxes in the room. Most were filled with no space for a small child to hide in. When they worked their way through the front end of the room Megan suddenly stopped Sue and pointed to a corner. There were multiple stacks of boxes pushed together against the wall, definitely not how they had arranged them.

Sue knocked on one of the boxes, loud enough for the little boy behind them to hear but not loud enough to scare him.

“It’s okay Nathan, no one is angry. Can you tell us if you’re hurt Nathan?

Nathan ignored Sue’s question, if he stayed silent then maybe they would go away and think he wasn’t there.

Sue asked again.

And again.

“I’m sorry Nathan but I’m going to push some boxes aside. I won’t come in, but I need to know if you’re safe.”

Nathan only managed to whimper when he saw the stack of boxes right in front of him being moved aside. He saw Sue’s kind eyes and he wanted to run but he didn’t know where to.

“It’s okay Nathan, it’s okay. No one is angry, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Nathan felt tears well up in his eyes, Sue hadn’t moved forward to grab him yet, but he expected it would only be a matter of time.

“Can you tell me why you needed to hide?”

Out of Sue’s line of sight he took a handful of Legos. He figured he could throw them at her if she tried to drag him out.

“Megan is gonna hit me.”

Talking was good, keep her talking. She wouldn’t hit him as long as he was still talking.

“Why do you think that Nathan?”

He noticed Sue had moved backwards a little, she wouldn’t be able to grab him without him being able to react anymore.

“Heard her tell you in the kitchen.”

Sue let out a sound that sounded like the one she made when he would tell her why he didn’t like being alone with his tutor. Why he didn’t like being alone with any adult.

“Did you maybe hear Megan tell me she was angry?”

Nathan didn’t answer this time, he just gave her a nod.

“Did you hear Megan tell me why she was angry?”

Nathan shook his head this time, “Only that she wanted to beat me.”

To his confusion he could see Sue wiping away some tears.

“Oh buddy. Megan wasn’t angry at you; she was angry at the people from the youth care office.”

Nathan felt both relief and confusion flush through him.

“Why would she be angry with them?”

Sue didn’t speak for a moment. “Can Megan join us buddy? I think she wants to be here when we tell you.”

Nathan thought about it for a moment, Sue didn’t seem angry, so it was probably safe.

He nodded at Sue, who in turn called for Megan to join them.

When Nathan saw Megan sit down he could see her red rimmed eyes.

“I’m so sorry Nathan, I shouldn’t have said those things, that must have been really scary to hear.”

He looked down at the handful of Legos he was still holding and dropped them back on the ground.

“I thought you were going to hit me.”

Megan had Sue’s hand clasped in hers, it was a comforting sight even if he didn’t know why.

“Remember what I told you after your very first night with us Nathan? We don’t hit or yell in this house, if there is a problem or we’re angry we will talk about it. I was really angry today, but not at you.”

Megan gave Sue a sideways glance waiting on a sign that she could continue.

“I was angry at the people from the youth care office because one of the guys there was not very nice to us. When you came here it was because you needed an emergency place, your social worker told you it was just temporary, right? That you would move on soon?”

Nathan remembered his social worker telling him this. He shrugged it off at the time, he figured it wouldn’t be the last emergency placement he would have to deal with.

“We called your social worker last week to ask if we could make this a more permanent arrangement because we don’t want you to move on. That would mean your social worker wouldn’t be looking for another place but that you could stay with us long term. We didn’t want to tell you yet because we didn’t know if it would go through, but then they called right before we came looking for you.”

Nathan felt his jaw drop, of all the things he expected Megan to say, this wasn’t it.

“I-I can stay?”

Two blinding smiles were directed at him.

“You can stay Nathan; we want you to stay.”

He couldn’t believe it.

He didn’t have to move again soon.

He could stay in the big house longer.

He could stay with Sue and Megan longer. He blushed when he thought about how much he wanted that.

“Do you want to see inside?” Nathan asked shyly.

“ME FIRST.”

Nathan laughed at Megan’s quick response and Sue’s glare because Megan beat her to it.

He moved out of his little space so Megan could climb in through the entrance Sue made earlier. Sue climbed in after her, it was a squeeze but they both fit as long as they didn’t move much.

Nathan waited outside hoping that by some miracle maybe Sue and Megan would allow him to keep his hiding place. He squealed when Sue suddenly pulled him inside again and held him on her lap.

“You’re quite the little builder buddy.”

He blushed at the compliment, none of his foster parents had ever liked the things he built, especially big things like this. He turned around in Sue’s lap and for once didn’t think before dropping his head on her chest and letting her hug him tight. He loved it when Megan stroked his back and bumped her nose against his.

“You know, we can make this place even bigger if you like. We could hang up some lights and add some little baskets for your toys and snacks. It can be your little hangout.”

Nathan smiled widely at Megan’s suggestion.

“We can?”

Megan and Nathan only needed one more look from each other before they started crawling over Sue to get out of the hideout so they could plan on how to make it even better.

Sue let it happen with a fond smile on her face, there was no stopping them when they had a plan anyway.

The next couple hours were spent making a plan, shopping and making space in the storage room. They replaced the boxes with the stackable ones since even Nathan had to agree that the heavy ones could fall over and hurt him. They used some blankets to make a soft wall and added pillows to make it comfy for him to sit. The roof was a huge piece of cardboard Sue cut up for them so it would fit.

Lastly they added different colored light strips to the wall so there would be light and some little baskets where he could keep his toys. When they were all done Megan lifted him up so he could put some glow in the dark stars on the ceiling.

When he was done Megan dropped him down on the pillows, making him laugh.

“I got one last thing for you, kiddo.”

Nathan looked up surprised, they had done everything they planned already.

Megan turned around to grab some things that she had stashed in a plastic bag and laid them down in front of him.

“I know you have your photo album, but I thought that maybe you would like to put the pictures in frames. That way you can look at them all the time and put them anywhere you want.”

Nathan traced a finger over the simple but beautiful frames. They were black with a little heart in the corner of each of the frames. He reached over to grab the album he had carried with him every day since he was 4 years old. The cover was worn from all the times he had opened and closed it.

The first picture was the one of him as a baby being held by his mom and his dad standing behind them smiling at the camera. He took it out as gently as possible and put it in his lap, it was his favorite, it was the only picture he had of the three of them together.

“Do you think I look like them?”

Megan pulled him into her side softly, it felt nice.

“I think you have the same beautiful brown eyes as your mom, but your cheeky smile is so much like your dad’s. Your hair is curly like your mom’s and those cute little dimples you got from your dad.”

Nathan laughed through his tears when Megan poked at his dimples on his cheek.

“I know they would be so proud of you Nathan, so incredibly proud.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, that photo frame part broke me multiple times. It's weird, this is not at all the angstiest thing i have written but it hurts deeply.
> 
> I love all you comments, they give me life. Please let me know what you think, i love all the comments ❤
> 
> If you have any themes you would like me to explore or just want to chat you're welcome to message me on Tumblr hardtchill.tumblr.com


	6. A night away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan spends the night with Tobin, Christen and Noah. It's a challenge to be away from Sue and Megan for a night but he wants to try and make it work. While there Megan has an important talk with Nathan about homophobia (insert Noah in very cute princess pajamas). Midnight art and cuddles are a standard part of sleeping over at the Press/Heaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning for this one. It's mostly cute but there are some moments that talk about abuse and homophobia, it's not graphic or angsty but i thought i would warn you anyway.
> 
> This chapter takes place around 3 months into his stay with Megan and Sue (a month after he first meets the gayng)
> 
> Thank you so much to @heath17_KO5 for beta'ing this chapter, i love all your little tips and corrections ❤

Nathan looked up from his backpack when he saw Sue walk into his room.

“Are you almost ready buddy?”

He turned around with his teddy in one hand and a shirt in the other.

“I think so.”

Sue walked over to him and sat down on his bed. Nathan let Sue hold his teddy not wanting to have it on the bottom of his bag.

“Are you nervous?”

He was. Tonight, was the first night he would sleepover somewhere without Megan or Sue. He was going to go to Noah’s house and stay there while Megan and Sue were going home. They called it a test run. He knew that sometimes Megan and Sue had to go away for work, and he couldn’t always come. He had slept over at Noah’s house before, but Megan and Sue had always stayed the night too.

“What if I have a nightmare?”

They had talked about this many times, but he just wanted to have Sue tell him one more time.

“Megan and I will stay until you go to bed and if you don’t want us to go we will stay, no questions asked right?”

He nodded; they had reassured him many times that they wouldn’t get angry if he didn’t want to stay on his own.

“If you’re okay with us leaving you can always call us no matter how late it is. You have your phone, but you can also wake up Tobin or Christen even if it’s really late. If you have a nightmare and you need help cleaning up you can go to them or call us, and we will help. No one is going to be angry because you need help or even if you just want to talk to us.”

He blushed, it felt strange to be so nervous. It was just Tobin and Christen, they weren’t scary but thinking about not having Sue and Megan around made him feel anxious.

He was shaken from his thoughts when Sue pulled him down next to her on the bed.

“I’m going to miss you tonight buddy, you’re so much more fun than Megan.”

He let out a giggle and let Sue pull him into a hug.

“I think you’re underestimating how fun I am babe; Nathan and I are definitely more fun than you are.”

Megan was standing in the door opening clearly having heard Sue’s comment.

Sue was about to react when Megan walked over and dropped down onto the bed.

“Admit defeat babe, we are both way less fun when we are missing our kiddo.”

He loved moments like these, it was strange to think that in just 3 months he could become so attached to Megan and Sue. He couldn’t help but laugh at their silly jokes and feel safe when they held him. It felt like no one could ever hurt him when Megan and Sue were protecting him.

With Sue’s help (and Megan’s not so helpful ideas of taking all his Legos with him) his bag was packed and ready to go before dinner. Not long after dinner he was loading his bag into the car.

The drive over was silent, he wasn’t really nervous to go to Noah’s house anymore. He had seen Tobin and Christen a lot in the past few weeks. Tobin always helped him build his Legos and Christen gave the best hugs, he knew he could trust them. 

Christen opened the door when they walked up the driveway and immediately opened her arms up for him. He walked into the hug and let Christen kiss his cheek.

“We missed you, sweet boy.”

Nathan laughed into Christen’s neck.

“You saw me two days ago.”  


Christen arranged an unruly curl away from his eyes.

“That’s still too long.”

Nathan smiled big, Christen was secretly his favorite out of all of Megan and Sue’s friends. She was so sweet and nice, she never made him feel tense.

Megan and Sue each gave Christen a quick hug before they moved inside. He kicked his shoes off and walked into the kitchen with Christen where she got them all something to drink.

“Tobin is trying to give Noah a bath, they should be out soon. We can place bets on what parts of Tobin Noah managed to drench.”

They didn’t have time to place bets because right at that moment Noah ran into the kitchen and straight at him.

“NATE, YOU’RE HERE.”

Noah was loud, he was always loud. Nathan didn’t think the 3-year-old ever lowered his voice or stopped talking, not unless he was sleeping. He couldn’t help but laugh at Noah trying to wrap his short arms around him.

Tobin walked into the kitchen a minute later, busy pulling a hoodie over her head. Her hair was wet, but her clothes were dry.

“Next time the monkey needs a bath I’m wearing a raincoat.”

Tobin appeared to talk more to herself than the other people in the room but that soon changed when she spotted him.

“Nathan! My favorite little dude.”

He giggled when Tobin pulled him into a hug, it was easy to see where Noah got his habits of trying to smother people in hugs.

Before long Noah was running around the kitchen clearly way too excited to stay still.

Nathan looked at Noah. He felt weird, he wanted to ask something, but he didn’t know if he was allowed to. He didn’t want everyone to hear so he moved closer to Megan’s side and pulled on her shirt.

“Is that allowed?”

Nathan looked up at Megan who looked confused.

“Is what allowed kiddo?”

He nodded towards Noah, who was still running around the kitchen in his pink princess pajamas.

“You mean Noah’s pajamas?”

Nathan nodded while waiting for his answer.

“Of course, it’s allowed kiddo, why wouldn’t it be?”

He looked down at his bare feet. He felt like he had said something wrong even if Megan didn’t look angry. He felt Megan pull on his hand and lead him to the living room where she sat him down.

“Is something wrong Nathan?”

He didn’t want to look at Megan, so he concentrated on the loose thread on one of the cushions.

“They always told me wearing girls’ clothes was wrong.”

“Who told you that?” Megan’s voice didn’t sound angry, but Nathan could hear that she wasn’t happy.

“My other foster parents. They said that wearing girls’ clothes would turn me gay.”

He could hear Megan gasp, he thought that maybe he shouldn’t have said that word.

“What do you know about being gay Nathan?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “No one ever told me what it was, just that it was wrong and that some things could make you gay. Kids at school sometimes say someone is gay and then laugh at him.”

He heard Megan let out a big sigh before she answered him.

“Being gay is not about your clothing or what you look like Nathan, it’s about who you love.”

More out of surprise than anything else he finally looked up at Megan.

“Being gay usually means that you love someone of the same gender as you, so for example a girl can love another girl. They can kiss and sometimes they want to get married.”

It took him a little while to process what Megan had just told him.

“Why is that wrong?”

Megan smiled at him. “It isn’t kiddo, but some people think it is because they think only a boy and a girl should love each other like that.”

He stayed silent for a bit, trying to process all the new information.

“A-are you gay?”

The words came out as a whisper and he blushed bright red as soon as he said them. To his relief Megan just smiled at him.

“I am and so is Sue.”

He felt a bit stupid; he had seen Megan and Sue kiss and he knew they were married but he had never known they were the thing he was always told, was wrong.

“I wasn’t turned gay Nathan; I have always been gay. You’re born with it, it’s not something you can be made into or something you can choose.”

He grabbed onto the loose thread again, he pulled a little until it came loose.

“Am I gay?”

If Megan was surprised by the question she didn’t show it.

“I don’t know, that is something you will figure out for yourself, probably when you’re a bit older. But maybe you don’t figure it out and that’s okay too. You’re free to love and explore Nathan, whoever you decide to do that with.”

He nodded slightly while winding the loose thread around his finger.

“Is there something else Nathan?”

He looked down at the loose thread that was tied around his pinky, he felt his finger go numb.

“If a boy kisses me, does that mean I’m gay?”

Megan reached over to untie the thread and rubbed his finger to get the blood flowing again.

“Has a boy ever kissed you?”

He didn’t know how to respond. He pulled his knees up to his chin so he could hide his face.

“They did lots of things.”

He looked up when Megan stroked her hand over his brown curls and saw her holding her arms wide. He took the invitation to crawl into her lap. He felt comforted when Megan’s arms closed around him and she kissed the side of his head.

“No one is allowed to touch you if you don’t like that Nathan. Doesn’t matter who it is, that is never allowed. If someone touches you when you don’t want that, it has nothing to do with who you want to kiss or marry one day. If someone ever does that or you don’t feel safe with someone, you can tell Sue or me and we will make sure you feel safe again.”

Nathan didn’t acknowledge Megan’s words but they both knew he heard and understood them. When the inevitable flashbacks came he dropped his head on Megan’s chest, happy to be held by someone who he could trust.

He didn’t mean to fall asleep but the exhaustion from their talk made him doze off.

When he woke up he saw Sue smiling down at him, Megan must have gotten up at some point because he was now in Sue’s lap.

“Hey sleepyhead, do you feel okay?”

He yawned and cuddled closer to Sue; he was still tired.

“I think it’s time to put you to bed for real buddy.”

Nathan didn’t manage more than a sleepy nod. Tobin and Christen both wished him goodnight before he let Sue pick him up and carry him to the guest room. He woke up a little bit more when he brushed his teeth and put on his pajamas. He was happy when he saw Megan had joined them again when he climbed into bed.

“Now remember sweetie, if you want to talk to us tonight or come pick you up you can call. You have your phone and you can always wake up Tobin and Christen if you need help, do you remember where their room is?”

He nodded at Sue’s question while letting out another yawn. Noah had given him the tour of the house the first time he came over. It really just meant that Noah had grabbed his hand and pulled him with him to run around the house until they were both too tired to keep running. Regardless he was confident that he knew where everyone’s rooms were now.

Megan and Sue stayed for a little bit, taking turns tucking him in, Megan claiming she could do a better job (which she did because she proceeded to tuck his teddy in to). They left when Nathan had fallen asleep but not before both pressing a kiss to his forehead and smoothing down the covers one more time.

When he woke up again he knew that it couldn’t be morning yet. The light in his room was on and he could see Tobin squatting next to his bed. Instinctively he moved back until his back hit the headboard of the bed.

“Hey little dude, I could hear you talk in your sleep, did you have a nightmare?” 

Tobin’s soft voice relaxed him a little bit, he had to remind himself that Tobin wasn’t like the grown up in his nightmare.

“It’s okay Nathan, I’m not going to hurt you, do you need something?”

He took a deep breath and looked down to the sheets, they were dry, he let out a big sigh of relief.

Tobin reached out her hand with a wide smile. “I was just working on a painting; do you want to come help me?”

Nathan thought about it. He didn’t want to stay in bed now, it reminded him of his nightmare. He took the hand Tobin offered him and let her lead him to the art studio. He had been in here a few times but only during the day. It looked different at night, Tobin had turned a few lamps on, but it wasn’t overly bright. He could see a large painting laying on the floor next to some open paint tubes.

“Do you want to paint something?”

Nathan smiled brightly while he nodded, he loved painting in school, but they didn’t do it much.

Tobin gave him his very own canvas that was much smaller than the big one Tobin was working on, but Nathan thought it was plenty big. Tobin put some paint for him on a piece of carton and handed him different size brushes he could work with.

They had worked in silence for maybe 30 minutes when Tobin scooted over to his side and looked at his painting.

“Do you want to tell me about your painting Nathan?”

It was as if Tobin had broken him out of the trance he had been in. When he looked down at his painting he couldn’t remember deciding to paint this.

“I don’t know how?”

“Can I ask you about it? If you don’t want to answer you don’t have to.”

He thought about it for a moment before nodding and waiting for Tobin to start asking questions.

“Can you tell me who that is?”

Tobin pointed to the lone figure in the painting.

“That’s me, I’m in bed.”

He could tell that Tobin’s smile got a little bigger when he answered.

“What is happening while you’re in bed?”

Nathan bit on his lip, he knew what happened in the painting, but he didn’t want to answer that.

“It’s dark.”

Tobin didn’t mention that he didn’t answer her question, he liked that.

“Can you tell me about the shadows?”

Nathan looked out the patches of gray he had painted into the all black background.

“They are the monsters,” he said softly.

“What do the monsters do?”

Nathan felt tears well up his eyes, he roughly wiped them away with his sleeve.

“They grab me when I’m asleep.”

Tobin reached up to take the arm he was still using to wipe his tears away. She didn’t force it but simply clasped their hands together and brought them down to his lap. 

“What is that little light at the bottom?”

He smiled subconsciously while looking at the red door and the yellow light he had painted.

“That’s Sue and Megan coming to save me from the monsters.”

He smiled through his tears while he stared at the little patch of light.

“Do they always save you?”

He nodded his head furiously.

“They always protect me.”

Tobin and Nathan had been sitting in a comfortable silence for a little while when they heard soft footsteps in the hallway. Tobin grinned at Nathan. “You’re not the only one who comes to visit me at night.”

Noah walked into the room rubbing his eyes with balled fists. He walked straight to Tobin and without much care threw himself at her, expecting her to catch him.

Nathan smiled at Tobin lifting the little boy in her lap and letting him snuggle against her chest. Tobin moved to the nearest wall and arranged some of the pillows so she could lean against it. Noah didn’t seem to care; he was well on his way to falling asleep again.

“You want to join us? I have room, right here.”

Nathan blushed when Tobin pointed to the spot right next to her. He made his decision by getting on his knees and crawling over to where Tobin was sitting with Noah. He crawled into the spot that Noah hadn’t occupied and let Tobin wrap an arm around him.

“You know, we will all save you from the monsters, always. Even this little monkey will give it his best try, but you’re probably better off with me. Monsters don’t like me very much because I am a mean fighter and I will always have your back.”

Nathan blushed when he heard Tobin speak. Even with Sue and Megan always being there and all the nice people it still felt a bit surreal that grown-ups wanted to protect him.

He cuddled in closer and was close to drifting off to sleep when a soft sweet voice filled the room.

“Why are you all here and not in bed?”

He could feel the little chuckle rush through Tobin’s body.

“We’re having a cuddle party Chris.”

Nathan giggled when he heard Christen say, “And you didn’t invite me?”

He opened his eyes when he sensed that Christen had kneeled down in front of him.

“Are you ready to go to bed sweetie, or do you want to stay here for a bit?”

He sleepily removed himself from the embrace, Tobin was comfortable, but his bed felt more inviting right now. He let Christen pull him up by his hands and lead him to his room. He climbed in bed and let Christen tuck him in again.

“Sleep well, sweet boy.”

He was asleep before he could even start to worry about the monsters.

“NATE, NATE, NATE, WAKE UP, IT’S MORNING.”

Nathan groaned when he felt the solid weight bounce on top of him. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was and part of him loved that he was completely comfortable with having Noah in his bed.

“What are you doing here Noah?”

Noah didn’t seem to listen to him because he was busy trying to get under the covers and find the most comfortable spot in the bed.

When Nathan finally got an answer, he couldn’t help but smile at his little buddy.

“Morning cuddles are the best cuddles.”

Nathan couldn’t help but agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting to the more fluffy part of this story not gonna lie. Nathan will continue to battle with past trauma but he definitely realizes now that he has found a place where he is safe.
> 
> I love all you comments, they give me life. Please let me know what you think, i love all the comments ❤
> 
> If you have any themes you would like me to explore or just want to chat you're welcome to message me on Tumblr hardtchill.tumblr.com


	7. Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan is struggling in school, he has managed to hide it from Megan and Sue until a parent-teacher conference blows his secret. A difficult conversation leads to 2 special parents having a special announcement for one very happy young boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When i say that Nathan deserves the world, this is what i mean.
> 
> Huge thanks to Heath17_Ko5 and musingpredilection for their help on this chapter, love yall :)

He hated school. No, wait, he hated feeling stupid in school. He liked learning and he even liked his teachers at his new school. His new classmates weren’t mean to him and his teachers actually cared about him, but he still felt stupid. He was the slowest reader in his class, and he struggled with the writing assignments.

There was a parent-teacher conference tomorrow and he just hoped that the book report he just got back wouldn’t be mentioned there. He didn’t even finish the book because he didn’t understand the words. He wasn’t really surprised when his teacher gave him the report back without a grade. 

He faceplanted down on his bed letting out a huge sigh as soon as he got home from school.

“That is a big sigh for my favorite little guy.”

“I’m not little.”

His voice was muffled by the pillow he had buried his face into.

“Tell me about it, you’re growing way too fast if you ask me.”

He shrieked and turned around on his bed when he felt Megan’s fast fingers starting to tickle him. He fought back, getting Megan to shriek too with some well-placed tickle attacks.

“Ceasefire?”

Nathan was still catching his breath and eyeing Megan suspiciously.

“For reals?”

Megan held her hand out for him to shake. “For super reals.”

He let himself fall back on the bed, still smiling after the ceasefire was officially put in place. He giggled when Megan went to lie down next to him, both of them staring at the white ceiling.

“Is there something you want to talk about kiddo?”

He shook his head; they would find out tomorrow. If he could stretch his time with Megan and Sue without them being angry at him, he would. He curled up in a ball and moved over to put his head on Megan’s shoulder. He loved it when Megan pulled him in tight and stroked a hand through his hair.

“It’s okay if you need some time, I will be here when you want to talk.”

The words sounded genuine, but he figured that after tomorrow they wouldn’t be anymore.

xxxx

The drive back to the house was silent, very different from the drive to the school when they were excited to hear about Nathan’s progress.

When Sue pulled into the driveway she stopped Megan from getting out of the car.

“Don’t go in there if you’re not calm.”

After years of marriage she knew what a calm Megan looked like, this wasn’t it.

“I thought he trusted us Sue.”

She rubbed her eyes beneath her glasses, it had been a long day.

“He does.”

She could see Megan’s red rimmed eyes from the corner of her own eye, that was not how they were going to talk to Nathan.

“So why didn’t he tell us?”

She turned to look at Megan for the first time and took her hand in hers.

“Because we can’t expect Nathan to fully trust us when he doesn’t know where he stands. He is scared to death of us sending him away. We can’t expect him to tell us everything when he thinks that anytime he isn’t perfect he will be asked to leave.”

She immediately saw the change in Megan’s face. Gone were the frown and the sad eyes, they were replaced by an expression of concern.

It took 10 more minutes for Megan to calm down and say she was in control.

When they walked into the house they could see Nathan lying on the couch in the living room with his head buried in a pillow. Christen quickly made her way over to them when she spotted them.

“He is really upset; he thinks you’re mad at him,” she warned them.

They each gave Christen a hug and thanked her for watching Nathan before she left.

\--

Nathan could hear Sue and Megan walk into the room and one of them getting closer to him quickly. Before he had time to react he felt himself being picked up and hugged tightly. It wasn’t the reaction he was expecting.

He didn’t need to open his eyes to know it was Megan who was holding him and sitting down with him in her lap. He sensed it when Sue sat down next to them and a second later he could feel her hand stroking through his hair.

“You’re not in trouble Nathan, we just want to talk about what your teacher told us tonight.”

He didn’t want to talk about it even if Sue said they wanted to. He wanted them to forget all about it and pretend everything was fine.

“I will try harder, I promise, just don’t send me away.”

Megan pulled him even closer and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“We will do no such thing, you’re not in trouble and we will never send you away.”

Nathan looked up the slightest bit, just enough to see Sue’s face, she didn’t look angry.

“Can you tell us why you are having a hard time doing your schoolwork?”

He shrugged his shoulders at the question.

“I don’t understand it and the words are too hard.”

He could see Sue nod. “Is that why you didn’t finish the book report?”

Nathan looked down at his hand which was holding Megan’s. “The book was too hard to read, I didn’t understand any of it.”

He took hold of one of Megan’s fingers, distracting himself by playing with Megan’s wedding ring.

“Did Brad help you with reading the book?”

As soon as he heard the name of his tutor he dropped Megan’s hand, something which didn’t go unnoticed.

“Did he do something to scare you Nathan?”

Sue’s voice was calm as it always was, but he could hear the hint of worry in it.  
He didn’t know what to say, it was his fault, not Brad’s, he didn’t want Brad to be blamed for this.

During the minute-long silence, he didn’t notice Sue silently communicating with Megan or that Megan was struggling to keep her emotions in check.

“I know this is hard to talk about, Nathan, but we really need to know if Brad hurt you or scared you in any way.”

He looked up to see Sue’s worried expression and shook his head.

“He didn’t do anything.”

Immediately he felt the arms around him relax and Megan letting out a deep breath she had apparently been holding. It was the truth, Brad wasn’t bad, he didn’t treat him like his old foster parents used to do, he was even nice to him.

“Do you feel comfortable with Brad being your tutor?”

He shook his head again before he could tell himself not to. The truth was that Brad reminded him of how small he was. Brad was huge and even if he was very nice he felt scared whenever he would look over his shoulder or lean in close to show him how to do an exercise on his worksheet. Brad could do a lot of things to him and he would have no way to stop him.

He wished he could explain it, but he couldn’t, thankfully Sue and Megan seemed done with asking questions for now.

“If you don’t feel comfortable we will find you a new tutor Nathan. You decide who you trust and want to be around buddy, only you.”

He smiled for the first time that day when Sue finished speaking and pressed a kiss to his forehead. He turned around in Megan’s lap to cuddle into her. Megan had been silent throughout the whole conversation, but he could sense she was still worried.

“I’m not hurt, and I’m not scared anymore.”

He could feel the last bit of tension leaving Megan’s body when he said those words.

“Good, because no one hurts my kiddo and gets away with it.”

He looked up at Megan to see the now familiar and even comforting fire in her eyes.

“Like how you made that lady in the store cry for yelling at me?”

“Exactly like that.”

Nathan could hear Sue’s hand slap down on Megan’s shoulder, “Megan!”

“Oh right, that was very wrong of me to do Nathan…. But also, extremely satisfying.”

“MEGAN!”

Nathan had trouble containing his giggles at seeing Sue’s exasperated expression.

“Okay, okay, It was wrong of me to make that horrible woman cry.”

Nathan laughed even more at the wink Megan added which made Sue throw her hands up and mutter, “Hopeless.”

He let his head drop down on Megan’s chest when he let out a yawn, he felt safe.

xxxx

When he woke up the next morning he had to remind himself that it was Saturday and that he didn’t have to rush to get ready for school. He stumbled out of his room, still half asleep, the smell of bacon having been enough to lure him out of bed. He had barely stepped out of his room when he felt familiar hands pick him up and throw him over a shoulder.

He laughed loudly when Megan rushed down the stairs and brought him all the way to the kitchen.

“Quick Sue, I found a sleepwalker, stab it before it wakes up and eats all the food.”

He laughed even harder when Sue reached over to pick him off Megan’s shoulder and pointed at Megan accusingly.

“The only one who is a danger to our food supply is you.”

Sue sat him down in his chair and handed him a plate with his favorites already on there.

“Are you calling me fat?”

Megan mocked outrage like she always did when this came up.

“Ehh, there is a touch more.”

Nathan didn’t really understand all the banter that happened between his foster parents, but this was a recurring one that always made him laugh.

Megan scoffed at Sue’s reply and leaned over to steal a piece of bacon from his plate.

“Stop stealing food from our kid, Megan.”

He started feeling all warm and tingly when he heard Sue say, “our kid.” It probably didn’t mean much, but it always gave him hope.

Soon after they settled down and all ate breakfast from their own plates (except for when he would sneak Megan a piece of his French toast).

When he was done eating and started to get up to go put his plate in the sink, Sue stopped him.

“Wait for just a sec buddy. We need to discuss a couple things after breakfast, I promise it’s nothing bad, but we need to discuss it nonetheless.” 

He instantly felt nerves fill his stomach, but thankfully he didn’t have to wait long for Megan and Sue to finish breakfast. They moved him along to the couch and sat on either side of him, both looking relaxed which made him feel slightly less anxious.

He waited for one of them to start talking while trying to keep his nerves under control.

It was Megan who spoke first.

“Do you remember how last night you asked us to not send you away and we said we would never do that?”

He nodded; it wasn’t a part of the conversation he liked to be reminded of, but he remembered.

“Well, Sue and I called your social worker a few weeks ago to ask if we could make that promise more permanent. We asked her if we could adopt you.”

He felt a lump forming in his throat that he tried to swallow away, it wasn’t working.

“She had to look into it, but she got back to us yesterday and said we could move forward with the procedure if we wanted too.”

He was pretty sure he had stopped breathing at this point. He didn’t know where to look, maybe he was still dreaming?

“We really want to; we want this to be your forever home, and you would never have to be scared about having to leave.”

He wanted to stay asleep; he didn’t have many pleasant dreams. He wanted it to last.

“It’s really important to us that you have a say in this too, Nathan, so we want you to think about it. We won’t send you away or get angry if you don’t want to get adopted. We want this to be your decision. If you don’t want to be adopted or you need some time to think about it that’s totally fine because this is a really big decision.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, it had to be a dream and he wanted to stay asleep.

“Nathan? Did you hear me?”

He whispered to himself over and over again.

“This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream.”

He suddenly felt a little pinch on both of his arms making him yelp and open his eyes.

“You’re not dreaming sweetie, this is real.”

He picked up his teddy that he had taken with him to the couch and hugged it close to his chest.

“You-you want to a-adopt me?”

He still wasn’t sure he was actually awake, maybe he was imagining it all, but Megan and Sue’s faces looked real.

“We do, sweetie, we want to give you a home and keep you safe for as long as you will let us.”

Sue reached over to where his hands were still grasping onto his teddy while she talked. She absentmindedly removed some dust from the soft little hairs beneath his fingers.

“Remember, you can think about it, you don’t have to decide right now.”

His head snapped back to look at Megan when he heard her voice, as if he only just remembered she was sitting next to him as well.

“Y-y-yes, I-I want you to adopt me.”

Why would he want to think about it? Why would he ever need to think about that? He wanted this more than anything.

He saw the huge smiles on Megan and Sue’s faces and blushed while looking down at his lap.

“H-how long will it take?”

He had heard about how long some kids had to wait to be adopted. He remembered a boy in his last group home who had to wait almost 2 years before his foster parents were allowed to adopt him.

“Once we fill out all the paperwork, and we go through all the checks it won’t be that long, but you need to have been living with us for a minimum of 6 months first. We will have to wait on a judge to make it official so it will be a few months for sure, but still very soon.”

He smiled to himself thinking that if this was true, by his next birthday he could have his forever home.

“Y-you’re sure you want me?”

He felt himself be pulled into a 3-way hug.

“We want you, more than anything. We love you kiddo and we want you to stay with us forever.”

He didn’t know why but he felt like the reality of it all suddenly crashed into him and he couldn’t stop the tears that started falling from his eyes. He was being crushed from both sides in a tight hug and he wished they would never let him go.

Eventually they did but he pulled them towards him again which got a laugh out of them both.

“We love you buddy.”

He was so happy, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He was still crying for some reason, but his cheeks were also starting to hurt from smiling so widely.

“We’ve got one more thing to tell you and I think you will like it.”

He turned to Megan who was looking back at him with a fond smile.

“You know how we talked about finding you a new tutor last night?”

He nodded while leaning back against Sue who was working on untangling some of his bedhead curls.

“We called Christen last night after you went to bed and she offered to tutor you for the next couple of months.”

THIS.

TRULY.

WAS.

THE.

BEST.

DAY.

EVER!

“Really??”

Megan laughed at his beaming smile and excited response.

“My next question was going to be if you would like that but your face kinda answers that question for you kiddo.”

He felt himself blush. “I trust Christen.”

Megan smiled at him. “We know you do, and we do too. She really wants to help you and she loves having you be her little helper now she is pregnant.”

He smiled to himself, Christen told him about the baby and he was really excited. He liked helping, it made him feel a bit better about needing others to help him.

“How do you feel buddy?”

He dropped his head back on Sue’s shoulder so he could look at her.

“Really, really good.”

He was met with the same sweet smiles he had become used to over the past couple of months.

“You want to get dressed now? We can go to the park and beat Megan at soccer.”

He jumped off the couch at Sue’s suggestion, getting one final laugh from both Sue and Megan. Halfway on his way to his room he paused and turned around. When he ran back into the living room he saw the curious looks on Megan and Sue’s faces, but they disappeared when he jumped into their arms again.

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter but it didn't come easy, i hope you all like it :)
> 
> I love all you comments, they give me life. Please let me know what you think, i love all the comments ❤
> 
> If you have any themes you would like me to explore or just want to chat you're welcome to message me on Tumblr hardtchill.tumblr.com


	8. Kicked in the Trunchbull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan has a tutoring session with Christen when he discovers baby's kick and he doesn't like it when people kick Christen. Nathan dubs over what he should call Megan and Sue after he gets adopted. We also get a look at Nathan's limited memories of his parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile, writers block sucks
> 
> Big thanks to Heath17_ko5 for helping me with this chapter ❤️

Thursdays were always the best days. They were his tutoring days with Christen. Tobin had just picked him up from school and they were on their way to Noah’s house. While in the backseat Noah offered him one of the skittles he had in his clammy hand. He was pretty sure he laughed throughout the whole car drive from hearing the new joke Noah had learned to Tobin’s (atrociously) singing along to a song he didn’t know.

When they got to the house Tobin sat them both down at the kitchen island with a snack before Christen joined them and gave him a hug. Noah practically inhaled his fruit before running outside to join Tobin on his play set.

He wasn’t looking forward to today’s tutoring session, so he ate as slow as possible. After 10 minutes and two bites, Christen raised an eyebrow at him that showed him she wasn’t falling for it.

He let out a big sigh and Christen smiled at him.

“I know you don’t like reading, but you’re almost done.”

He still grumbled but let Christen remove the plate from the island and led him to the living room where his book and his notepad lay ready for him.

He had been reading the book for almost two weeks now. Two weeks of daily reading sessions that usually ended with him chucking the book in a corner. It wasn’t that the book wasn’t interesting, how could a girl with superpowers teaching grown-ups a lesson ever not be? It was just that he frustrated himself with how slow he was reading and how he had to read some sentences three times before he understood them.

Most nights Megan would sit with him while he read his nightly chapter and they would chat about the chapter after he was done reading. Megan would ask him questions about what he thought happened or if he agreed with what Matilda would do. He liked his conversations with Megan, they were a huge part of why he kept trying to finish it.

He had just over 30 pages left which he was supposed to finish by tomorrow according to the schedule Christen had shown him.

As always Christen took a seat beside him and after every three pages or so asked him what he had read and what he thought of it.

He was just getting to the part where the Trunchbull was bullying poor Wilfred when he heard Christen wince beside him. When he looked over, she didn’t look any different, so he went back to reading. When Christen had winced for the third time he looked at her a bit more closely to figure out what was wrong, so much so that Christen offered an explanation.

“Don’t worry, this little one is just kicking up a storm today.”

“The baby is kicking you?”

When Christen told him it was, he couldn’t help but frown, he didn’t like it that someone was kicking Christen. He put the book on the table in front of him and turned towards her.

“That’s not very nice.”

He must have said something funny because Christen started laughing when he said it.

“Oh, my sweet boy, the baby is just kicking to let me know they are healthy and safe, the baby is not hurting me, don’t worry.”

He sat up to look at Christen, at her big smile and her bright eyes and he couldn’t help but want to ask.

“Did I kick my mommy?” 

He noticed that Christen’s eyes turned a little sad when he asked.

“You probably did sweetie, but your mommy would have loved that because that’s how she knew you were her healthy and strong baby.”

He looked down at his hands which were holding one of Noah’s toy cars he had just picked up. He was spinning the wheels, so he had a reason to avoid looking at Christen when he asked his next question.

“Do think she would want me If she was still here?”

If he had been looking at Christen, he would have seen the shock and then sadness on her face, after he asked.

“Of course, she would want you sweetie. Why do you think she wouldn’t?”

He shrugged his shoulders, he thought about all the times foster parents had told him he was difficult or when he was sent away.

“My foster parents never wanted me.”

He felt Christen take the little car from his hands and put her other hand on his cheek to make him look up.

“Your mommy and daddy love you so much, they wanted you sweetie and I know they are really proud of you.”

He let Christen pull him in for a tight hug, he tried to think of the memories he had of his parents. There weren’t that many.

He remembered his mom’s smile, he could still picture it. Mommy’s smile always made him feel loved.

He sighed into Christen’s chest when he remembered the feeling of his dad’s strong arms wrapping him up in a hug. Daddy always made him feel safe. 

He pulled back from the hug when he realized he had another question.

“What do I call Megan and Sue?”

Christen brushed some wayward curls away from his eyes before she answered.

“What do you mean sweetie? Don’t you just call them Megan and Sue?”

He did but things were going to be different right?

“I’m getting adopted, does that mean they will be my new mommy’s?”

He felt Christen brush her hand through his hair again even though he was sure there was no hair in front of his eyes anymore.

“No one will ever replace your mommy and daddy Nathan, and they know that. Do you want to call Megan and Sue mom or mommy?”

He thought about it for a moment, but his mind was set.

He shook his head, “no, but I don’t want to call them just Megan and Sue either.”

Christen smiled at him before reaching over to grab a notebook and a pen.

“Can you think of any other names you know that you think would be nice to use?”

He took the notebook when Christen handed it to him and began writing. They were all names he had heard before in foster homes, the nice ones anyway. It wasn’t a very long list but at least he managed to think of something.

It only took him 10 minutes to write everything down he had thought of before he gave the notebook back to Christen.

He felt himself shake a little bit when Christen went to read what he had written down. They were probably stupid.

“These are all really good, Nathan.”

He was a little surprised when he heard Christen praise his list.

“You think so?”

He looked at her with a cautious smile. He still wasn’t really used to grown-ups liking his ideas.

“Yes, I do. Is there one you like the most?” 

He didn’t have to think very long about the answer to that question. There was one name he had heard a lot since he had been with Megan and Sue, especially when spending time with Noah. He pointed to the name on the list and waited for Christen’s response.

“Mama huh? That’s the one you really like?”

He nodded, he had heard Noah call Tobin that and he thought it always sounded really nice.

“Do you think Megan and Sue would like it?”

He watched as Christen put the notebook back on the table and wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

“I think Megan and Sue like every name you come up with because it comes from you. If you want to call them mama, they will love that, but they will also love it when you continue to call them Megan and Sue. What you call them won’t change how much they love you and want you to be with them forever.”

He smiled like he always did when he thought about never having to leave Sue and Megan again.

“Can I ask you a question, sweetie?”

He didn’t really know why Christen felt like she needed to ask but he nodded anyway.

“Do you talk about your mommy and daddy a lot?”

He quickly shook his head, he couldn’t remember ever speaking about them, not in foster homes anyway. He talked to Sue and Megan sometimes, but it always made him sad so sometimes he said no if they asked a question.

“Do you miss your mommy and daddy?”

And just like that he felt his bottom lip quiver and his eyes start burning. He felt stupid for crying because of such a simple question but he couldn’t help it. He let Christen pull him into a hug again while he desperately tried to think of his dad’s hugs and his mom’s smile to stop him from crying.

His mind however had other ideas. He thought about the day when a strange woman picked him up from pre-school. The woman had driven him to a big building with desks and people everywhere. He didn’t remember the woman’s face anymore but after being at the strange building for a long time she put him in the car again and drove him to his first foster home.

He squeezed his eyes shut banning the memories of that first night from his memory. Slowly he saw the memories disappear and heard Christen’s soothing voice cut through the leftover noise in his head.

“It’s okay sweetie, it’s okay. You’re safe, no one can hurt you here.”

He let out a deep breath he didn’t know he had been holding and concentrated on the sound of Christen’s voice. He felt himself calm down bit by bit until he had stopped crying and felt confident enough to look up at Christen.

He wanted to say something but they were interrupted by Noah running into the room in his normal excited fashion.

“NATE, wanna come play with my new ball?”

He felt bad for ignoring his little friend, but he didn’t feel like playing now.

“Not right now Noah, Nathan needs a little time okay?”

Christen tried to explain to Noah why he wouldn’t be up for playing right now, but Noah didn’t seem to understand.

“But mommy, IT HAS DUCKIES ON IT.”

He couldn’t help but giggle at the tone in Noah’s voice. He loved how Noah would always get excited over the littlest thing. When he finally looked up at Noah holding his ball he smiled again. Noah, on the other hand, moved forward immediately when he saw that Nathan was looking sad.

Before he knew it Noah had sat down next to him on the couch and wrapped his arms around him as best as he could.

“Hugs make it better?”

He smiled at the muffled voice coming from the three year old.

“Yes, hugs make it better, thank you Noah.”

When Noah pulled out of the hug a while later when he was sure Nathan wasn’t looking sad anymore, he tried again.

“Wanna play with my ball now?”

He looked at Christen who pretended to think really hard about it but ended up just smiling at them.

“Go play you two, you are almost done reading your book anyway, we will finish it tomorrow.”

Noah had jumped off the couch while Christen was still talking and was pulling on his hand to get him to get up too.

“Thank you, mommy. Nate, come with me now.”

They ended up playing 2v1 against Tobin and losing horribly because Noah kept trying to pick up the ball to inspect the ducks.

It wasn’t long after the game ended that Megan came to pick him up. He hugged her a little tighter than he usually would, if she noticed she didn’t mention it.

He had one more question that he didn’t get to ask earlier but really wanted an answer too.

“Megan?”

“Yes kiddo?”

“How did the baby get in Christen’s stomach?”

Oh boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why this took me so long to write but anyway, i hope you enjoyed this one
> 
> I know i haven't reacted to all your wonderful comments on the last chapter, believe me when i say i read them all multiple times, it's what helps me find the motivation to write. I will react to all your comments soon but right now i need sleep, i just didn't want to go to sleep before posting. ❤️
> 
> If you have any themes you would like me to explore or just want to chat you're welcome to message me on Tumblr hardtchill.tumblr.com


	9. Safe in the big bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan comes home from school after an eventful day. A little girl having a crush on him results in a big talk and some scary moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took this long, i haven't really been able to write until i did and wrote something i wasn't planning on. 
> 
> Thankyou Heath17_ko5 for being an awesome beta ❤️
> 
> Be aware that this chapter does mention some dark themes, it isn't graphic but it is sad and can be triggery.

“Hey Buddy, how was school?”

Sue was sitting on the couch, watching Nathan walk through the front door and drop his bag at the bottom of the stairs. He walked towards her without answering. She let out a small “oomph” when he dropped himself in her lap and buried his face in her shoulder.

“Hello there?”

He didn’t answer, he wanted to disappear, and this was the best way to do it.

“You want to talk about it sweetheart?”

He shook his head.

“You want to just sit here for a bit?”

His “yes” was muffled against Sue’s shoulder but she understood. For a moment when Sue pressed a kiss to his forehead and brushed his curls back, he forgot all about his day.

-

“Aw gwirl as sool wikes me.”

Nathan hadn’t spoken at all in the past 20 minutes. Sue knew he would eventually, but she wasn’t able to decipher what he just said.

“Can you repeat that Mr. mumbles?”

With a deep sigh Nathan went to sit a little more upright so he wasn’t talking into Sue’s shoulder anymore.

“A girl at school likes me, they say she wants to be my girlfriend.”

Sue at first wanted to coo at that little piece of information, maybe even tease Nathan a little. She changed her mind when she saw the look she had come to recognize so well. This wasn’t just normal first-time crush nerves.

“What do you think about that?”

She could see the defiant look in Nathan’s eyes, coupled with the almost casual shrug of his shoulders. It told her that there was a lot more going on than she was aware of and way more than Nathan was willing to admit without prompting.

“Do you like her?”

Another shrug and a “maybe” told her that the little girl in question wasn’t the issue.

Oftentimes with Nathan she had to play process of elimination. He would talk if she asked the right questions but if she didn’t Nathan usually didn’t address the real problem until much later. 

“Have you ever been someone’s boyfriend before?”

She could see Nathan’s bottom lip start to tremble, a clear sign she was on the right track.

“Y-yes.”

-

He tried to look anywhere but at Sue’s face, knowing that if he did, he would start crying.

“Can you tell me who it was?”

He tried to swallow away the annoying lump in his throat, but it just kept getting bigger.

“He was a friend of my foster dad I think, he sometimes visited my foster home and he would call me his little boyfriend.”

He remembered how the man would try and bribe him with candy to do things. He figured out soon enough that refusing wasn’t an option. He could take the candy or not, either way his ‘boyfriend’ would get his way.

“What does being someone’s boyfriend mean to you Nathan?”

He shrugged his shoulders again. “That you have to do everything they say even when you don’t want to.”

He couldn’t see the rage in Sue’s eyes, but he could hear the involuntary gasp that left her mouth. Even after months with him, Megan and Sue would sometimes react really surprised when he told them about his past foster homes. It was only with Megan and Sue that he learned many things he thought were normal, were not normal at all. Maybe this was one of them?

“I’m scared mama.”

-

In any other situation Sue would have smiled. Nathan had started slipping in “mama’s” here and there, mostly when he was tired. Now though she could only think about how she was going to make her 9-year-old feel safe again.

Sue was silent for a moment before she nudged his chin up with her hand, so she could look into the big innocent eyes she had come to love.

“The little girl in your class is not like that man Nathan. She probably thinks you’re really nice and wants to maybe play at our house or ask you to go play at her house. If you don’t want that you can just tell her no thankyou and if that is scary you can tell Megan or me and we will tell her for you.”

She could see that she was getting through to the little boy sitting in her lap. 

“I can say no?”

She brushed her hand through his curls, a habit both she and Megan had picked up. No matter how many times she would smooth down the curls on Nathan’s head, Megan would come and mess them up. It seemed to have a calming effect on all three of them.

“No one is ever allowed to touch you or make you feel uncomfortable. If they do, you tell them no. If that doesn’t work, you are allowed to run away or yell so someone will hear you and come help. Megan and I will always help you when you ask for it, even when you’re at school. That’s why you have your phone, you can call us at any moment, and we will come get you. If a grown-up or even a kid who is a lot older than you ever wants to be your girlfriend or boyfriend, you need to tell Megan or me right away. Can you do that?”

He nodded at her, they had talked about this before and how Nathan should always tell them if he was uncomfortable, but Sue felt like it was a message worth repeating.

“Is there something I can do to make you feel safer right now Nathan?”

She felt Nathan lean into her again, a clear sign he was done talking for now. Sue let him snuggle into her, knowing that the best thing she could do was follow his lead.

-

He knew the ritual; he knew that when the door to his bedroom opened when he was supposed to be asleep it would be a bad night. It never took long for him to start touching him. He always tried to shake his hands off, one time he rolled over to get away from the big hands that were chasing him, but that only made it worse.

He was shaken from his nightmare when he felt a much smaller and softer hand on his face.

“Mama?” He called out, not daring to open his eyes yet.

“Mama is here Nathan, you’re safe.”

The confirmation got him to open his eyes. He buried himself in Megan’s waiting arms at the side of his bed. He was sure the man was still there, that any moment now he would start touching him. Even Megan’s hugs couldn’t erase all the panic that was still coursing through him.

“Can you take a couple deep breaths for me Nathan?”

He hadn’t even noticed how close he was to hyperventilating. He tried to calm himself down, but it only resulted in him gasping for air.

“Breathe with me Nathan, in and out.”

He concentrated on Megan’s calm breathing and tried to mimic her rhythm. When he finally managed to calm down, he tried to familiarize himself with his surroundings. The first thing he noticed were the wet sheets beneath him. Before a feeling of shame washed over him, Megan pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“It’s okay sweetie.”

He let Megan pull back the covers and take him to the bathroom. She left him to clean up like she always did. The knock on the bathroom door told him that Megan had laid out his clean pajamas.

When he walked out, he didn’t dare look at Megan. It’s not like they hadn’t gone through this ritual before, but tonight was different.

“What’s wrong kiddo?”

He didn’t look at Megan, instead he focused on one of the weird shapes on the wooden floorboards.

“C-can I sleep with you and Sue tonight?”

He knew Megan had heard him and thankfully he didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

“Would that help you feel safe tonight?”

He nodded shyly, still not looking up from the floorboards.

It wasn’t long before he felt Megan lift him up and carry him to the master bedroom.

Probably the only time he was ever happy that he was still very small for his age was when Sue or Megan would carry him. They regularly joked that he was growing too fast, but he suspected that even if he grew to be taller than Sue, Megan would still try and carry him.

When Megan dropped him on the big bed, Sue was already waiting for him with her arms wide. He didn’t think twice before crawling into them and letting Sue comfort him. 

It wasn’t his first time in the big bed, but it was the first time he asked to stay with them after having a nightmare. The other times were when Sue and Megan had decided they all deserved breakfast in bed or when he was sick.  
As soon as Megan pulled the covers over him, he could feel his eyes drooping. All the adrenaline he had felt not even 10 minutes ago was gone.

“Night mama’s” Nathan whispered. He wasn’t scared anymore, right here was when he could never feel unsafe.

-

Megan looked down at the little boy in the middle of her bed, dried tears still on his cheeks, teddy tucked tightly in his arms. Thinking about how anyone could ever think of hurting her little boy made her blood boil. She looked over at Sue who seemed to have been thinking the same thing. She reached for Sue’s hand, while keeping the other protectively around her son.

They would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why this took me so long to write but anyway, i hope you enjoyed this one
> 
> I know i haven't reacted to all your wonderful comments on the last chapter, believe me when i say i read them all multiple times, it's what helps me find the motivation to write. I will react to all your comments eventually ❤️
> 
> If you have any themes you would like me to explore or just want to chat you're welcome to message me on Tumblr hardtchill.tumblr.com


End file.
